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  1. #1
    cyberbrain is offline Newbie
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    Please help proof read my letter of motivation

    Hi all,

    I am new to this forum. I'm applying for a Master course in Europe and would be glad if someone here can help revise the letter of motivation for me.
    Many thanks,

    Dear Sir or Madam,


    I am writing to express my great interest in your (program). I believe that my educational background and experience will make me a competitive candidate to contribute to your programme.


    During my secondary school, feeling the inconvenience of copying files between two computers using floppy disks, I was trying to establish a simple file sharing application. I connected the computers using null-modem cable, executed the necessary programme, and exclaimed joyfully while watching a group of files being transferred from one computer to the other. That small success sparked my attraction to computer network, and I envisaged a larger scale one with many more useful applications in the future. Later in my school days, I was introduced to the Internet. Its plethora of applications have amplified my interest in Networking areas, and made my choice of further study an obvious one.


    In 2005, I was admitted to (university), one of the most prestigious universities in (country). Following the path I had predetermined, I chose Telecommunications as my major. During five years of undergraduate study, I excelled in most of the courses. In recognition of my consistent excellence, I was honoured with many awards and scholarships for consecutive years and was the top-ranked student in the faculty after graduation.


    Also in my undergraduate years, I have taken every opportunity to hone my research skills and enrich my research experience. Besides paying careful attention to my assignments, I joined the Student Research Club and followed my research interest by working on many Networking and security related projects. In 2009, I successfully implemented an Internet control module using MCU-based board, part of a larger Smart Home project. Later that year, after studying various information hiding and encrypting algorithms and their applications to networks security, I applied them to SIP sessions in a small scale VOIP system. Above all, the project of designing and deploying a network of secured RFID readers has earned me the First prize in the Student's Scientific Research 2010, a highly competitive competition in my university.


    Keen on exploring the networking field, I have worked as an intern at (company). During the internship, I have been involved in many projects which brings me valuable insights into the importance of security in large scale networks. I have learnt of different types of attacks and the protection against them. I have also noticed that a single vulnerability can cause serious damage to the whole network. Network security is a growing concern and I feel excited about the potential for new research in this area.


    The (program) fits my interest perfectly with its esteemed universities, advanced courses, and first-rate facilities. The detailed study program completely matches my academic pursuit. My long-term objective upon completion of my master's degree is to obtain a PhD degree in Computer Science and to work as a networking expert in a R&D corporation. To achieve that goal, however, I must improve my research methodology and skills to prepare for the challenges of a PhD programme. Therefore, I consider your master program a vital step towards my career success. Moreover, studying at (country) is a precious opportunity for me to learn about different cultures.


    Lastly, I hope that the combination of my experience, education, and motivation will help me contribute to the excellence and diversity of your advanced programme. I know that I do not only study about network security but I also have chance to immerse myself in another network - a network of inspiration scholars and excellent students all over the world.


    Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to your positive reply.


    Yours faithfully,

  2. #2
    cyberbrain is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help proof read my letter of motivation

    Please help... :(

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