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  1. #1
    maryam uday is offline Newbie
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    Default correct my essay 2 plz

    It is generaly believed that some people are born with certain talents ,for instance for sport or music and others are not.However , it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become agood sports person or musician.
    Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    To a great extent, it is common accept as true that unspecific number of people are come to life with a marked innate ability such as, sport or music people. This idea is true because, those people with endowment have a special things that acquired spontaneously without learning. However, other people argue that any child possible be learned to success in different fields such as , sports and musician persons.
    In this essay , I will look at some argument for and against , talent come instinctive without any practiced.

    Firstly, talent people are born directly with something distinct, which make them special among other.
    For example, Bethoven the famous musician who surprised people with his wonderful music. Althought, he was blind, he could compose a large numbers of musical sections.
    From previous examplp, it is clear that endowment come automaticaly with the birth and do not need experience to acheive specials thing.

    However, other people are born without any talent but when good circumstances are available for them such as good education , good practicing. This conditions will promot them energy to compete with others.
    For example, famous sports and musician person are come to life normaly but after special practicing and when they have good skills they become talent and can compete with others.
    From the last example, it is obvious that, good practice and learning could result in good skills.
    In conclusion, some people brough into existence with special endowment, although, others are come to life without talent but with the teaching and good practicing they become very successful.
    I strongly agree, if child is born in a good condition such as good education , he can become a special person and can compete with other talent persons.
    Last edited by maryam uday; 25-Aug-2010 at 05:59.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: correct my essay 2 plz

    Before anyone makes a start on the actual essay, could you please go back in and edit it, bearing in mind that we do not put a space BEFORE a comma, only after. The extra spaces are making your piece very difficult to read.
    Thanks.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: correct my essay 2 plz

    To a great extent, it is common accept as true that a particular number of people are come to life with definite (innat??) abilities such as for sport or music fields. This idea is true. Those people with endowment have special things that acquired spontaneously without learning. However, some people argue that any child is possible to learn and be successful in different fields through schooling. In this essay, I will look at some argument for and against the idea that talent comes instinctive without any practice.

    Firstly, talented people are born with unusual gifts which make them distinct among other. For example Bethoven, he is a famous musician who surprised people with his wonderful music. Although he was blind, he composed a large number of musical masterpieces. Based in the example, it is clear that a talent comes spontaneously with birth and experience is unnecessary to acheive special things.

    However, there are people who are born without any talent though options are available for them like proper education and trainings. This opportunities will promote their abilities to compete with other people who have inborn talents. For example, some well-known athletes and musicians come to life without any distinctive endowment though after serious practice and several trainings, they become dexterous in which they are able to contest with the talented ones. So, it is obvious that a talent is achieveable from experiences, good trainings and education.

    In conclusion, some people bring about into existence with special abilities but unfortunately, other people come to life without markable talent though through schooling and good practice they can be successful in whatever field they chose. I strongly agree that if kids will be look after with proper education during their early days, they can become a professional and competent individual at any fieldd they go for. (add more)

    ** I just tried to fix some errors and I suggest try to give stronger statements coz it sounds like you're just repeating the same ideas, hope it helps. ☻
    Last edited by poncerelyn; 22-Aug-2010 at 08:43.

  4. #4
    maryam uday is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: correct my essay 2 plz

    I did not put any space before comma.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: correct my essay 2 plz

    For example , Bethoven , the famous musician

    The above was taken from your original post. There is clearly a space before and after each comma.

  6. #6
    maryam uday is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: correct my essay 2 plz

    Thank you very much for this comment but, plz I want correct my new essay why till now no one corrected it . Plz I want ypur help because my examin is very near.Also I want from you to mention my faults.

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