[Essay] Please check my toefl essay

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scarecrowd

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I'm new here, need you guys to check my essay. Thank you very much in advance.

Topic : There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach educated person.

In today's world an education becomes more important for our lives. An educated person always have superior status than an uneducated person. One question that I often thought about is whether there is nothing that an uneducated person can teach educated person. Although education provides many benefits, in my opinion, I disagree that an uneducated person person can't teach an educated person.

Firstly, the local knowledge or the rural knowledge such as how to survive in the forest without food, how to farming in the rainy seasons and how to cook the simple medicine by herb in the mountain, these specific knowledge are not contain in the general subjects that provided by school. Most of these local things came from their great grandfather. They shared this information by generation. Furthermore, most of these people are uneducated and it seem to be benefits when you go to their area.

Second example came from my experience, I have study about business. Once they invited guest lecturer to the class. He is the successful business man and he don't even have his high school life. He studies till he was 8 years old because of his family financial problem. But by his courage and his vision make him to success in his business. This is the the real life experience that also hard to find in the university course.

Lastly, The kind of specific knowledge that involved in religion or spiritual. This kind of subject is not even put in the class lesson because each students has their own believes. They have to study by themselves. Most of experts of this kind of subject are an uneducated person. They learned this specialize subject by themselves too and this kind of knowledge became more and more important in today's world.

In conclusion, They are many important lesson that provided by an uneducated person. Many of these lesson are unique and valuable to learned. You must not keep yourself only in the university or school subjects. Experience outside classroom is sometimes important than that you learned in class.
 

Unwritten

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I'm new here, need you guys to check my essay. Thank you very much in advance.

Topic : There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach educated person.

In today's world [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] education becomes more important for our lives. An educated person always [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] has superior status than an uneducated person. One question that I often thought about is whether there is [STRIKE]nothing[/STRIKE] something that an uneducated person can teach an educated person. Although education provides many benefits, in my opinion, I disagree that an uneducated person can't teach an educated person.

Firstly, the local knowledge or the rural knowledge such as how to survive in the forest without food, how to farm[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] in the rainy seasons and how to cook the simple medicine by herb in the mountain, [STRIKE]these[/STRIKE] such a specific knowledge is not contained in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] general subjects that are [STRIKE]provided[/STRIKE] thaught by school. Most of these local things came from their great grandfather. They shared this information by generations. Furthermore, most of these people are uneducated and it seems to be a benefit when you go to their area.

Second example came from my experience, I have studied about business. Once they invited guest lecturer to the class. He is a successful business man and he didn`t even finish his high school [STRIKE]life[/STRIKE]. He studied till he [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] reached 8 years old because of his family financial problem. But [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] due to his courage and [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] vision [STRIKE]make him [/STRIKE] he reached to success in his business. This is the the real life experience [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] which is also hard to find in the university course.

Lastly, the kind of specific knowledge that is involved in religion or spiritual matters. This kind of subject is not even put in the class lesson because each student[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] has [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] his own believes. [STRIKE]They[/STRIKE] Students have to study by themselves. Most of experts of this kind of subject are an uneducated person. They learned this [STRIKE]specialize[/STRIKE] subject by themselves too and this kind of knowledge became more and more important in today's world.

In conclusion, There are many important lessons that are provided by an uneducated person. Many of these lessons are unique and valuable to be learned. You must not [STRIKE]keep[/STRIKE] limit yourself only in the university or school subjects. Experience outside the classroom is sometimes more important than those materials you learn[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] in class.

Good Luck !
Pay more attention to the singular & plural .
 
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