[Essay] Please can someone check my essay?

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ss.226

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Joined
Nov 14, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Oman
Current Location
Oman
2010 Summer
Summer vacation is the most graet months of my year. We can visit our family, friends and even other countries with my family that consists of my mother, father, my three brothers and sister.
This summer we went to Great China, it is the country that I always wanted to visit, so for me it was a really great event. When we first arrived to Beijing we stayed in Double-Tree Hilton Hotel which was absolutely amazing considering it as one of the top hotels in the world. Staying at the hotel was exciting but what was more exciting was visiting the Great Wall of China, Temple of Heaven and the Forbidden City. It was amazing walking in these places that was built hundred years ago. After, moving from Beijing we went to Guangzhou the city of business, where I did saw people from all over the world taking care of their own international businesses. I also shopped a lot from Guangzhou. After Guangzhou we went to Hong Kong the city of the pink dolphins and Walt Disney Park that was perfect and never forgettable.
And I am currently so happy that I visited these wonderful places in Great China.
 

Unwritten

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Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Palestinian Territory
Current Location
Palestinian Territory
2010 Summer

Summer vacation is the most [STRIKE]great months [/STRIKE] favorite part of my year. We can visit our family, friends and even other countries with my family[STRIKE] that [/STRIKE]which consists of my mother, father, my three brothers and my sister.
This summer we went to Great China, it is the country that I always wanted to visit, so for me it was a really great event. When we first arrived to Beijing we stayed in Double-Tree Hilton Hotel which was absolutely amazing considering it as one of the top hotels in the world. Staying at the hotel was exciting but what was more exciting was visiting the Great Wall of China, Temple of Heaven and the Forbidden City. It was amazing to walk [STRIKE]walking[/STRIKE] in these places that[STRIKE] was [/STRIKE] were built hundred years ago. After[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] moving from Beijing we went to Guangzhou the city of business, where I did saw people from all over the world taking care of their own international businesses. I also shopped a lot from Guangzhou. After Guangzhou we went to Hong Kong the city of the pink dolphins and Walt Disney Park that was perfect and never forgettable.
And I am currently so happy that I visited these wonderful places in Great China.

;-)
 
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