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  1. #1
    bduy007 is offline Newbie
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    Sep 2010
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    Post Please, can someone check my formal letter?

    Dear Sir/Madam
    Re: Request for information about hiring maids.
    I saw your advertisement on today’s newspaper, but I want to know more information about your services. So I would be grateful if you could give me more details.
    Do you have maids who can take care for elderly people? My grand-mother is very old, so the quality of maids is so important to me. Therefore, I need a maid who is strong, have good dedication, can cook, do housework, patient and comprehend with old people. Of course, if the maid can speak China, It will be better. Then, do you have any hidden cost? As the agent fee at the advertisement, I think there will have some more extra fee. Actually, my house is not only far from your company, but I also have to study until 5 pm. So do you have other branches nearly my house?
    I am looking forward to receiving a reply from you. If you need to contact, my phone number is 82463844.
    Yours faithfully,
    ( signature)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    Smile Re: Please, can someone check my formal letter?

    Dear Sir/Madam
    Re: Request for information about hiring maids.
    I saw your advertisement on today’s newspaper(maybe you should include the name of the newspaper), but I want to know more information about your services(To be polite, you might write: I saw your advertisement on Today's newspaper and would like to know more about your services.--> Use would like to be more polite). So I would be grateful if you could give me more details. (I will be grateful if you can provide me with more details. But usually we save the thank part to the end of the letter. After told readers where you get the information, and what you want or your purpose. You can go directly to the details and information that you want to ask.)
    I would like to know if you have maids who can take care for elderly people. My grand-mother is very old, so the quality of maids is really important to me. (Therefore)(Since you already have 'so' in the above sentence, you don't need therefore here), I need a maid who is strong, have good dedication, can cook, do housework, patient and comprehend with old people( Your sentence above, I need a maid who is 'strong', an adjective, so what follow must be also adjective--> I need a maid who is strong, dedicated, able to cook and do housework, patient and comprehended with old people.),. Of course, if the maid can speak China, it will be better. Then, do you have any hidden cost? As the agent fee at the advertisement, I think there will have some more extra fees. Actually, my house is not only far from your company, but I also have to study until 5 pm. So do you have other branches nearby my house?
    I am looking forward to receiving a reply from you. If you need to contact me, my phone number is 82463844.

    Yours faithfully,

  3. #3
    bduy007 is offline Newbie
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    Sep 2010
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    Re: Please, can someone check my formal letter?

    Thank you for checking it !!!

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