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    • Join Date: Jul 2005
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    #1

    Help w/paragraphs

    Can you help me with these paragraphs?

    I walked outside today and took a look at the tree in the middle of my yard i noticed how large it was and how tall it was. it was really an amazing thing to behold such a large tree in the sunshine with patches of snow, across the land. Is there anything better than taking a break from the computer screen to go absorb some nature scenes.

    Looking out into nature after staring at the computer, for hours can really ease tension on the eyes When a person goes into nature and letís their vision expand to the horizon, it seems that any tension that may have Accumulated just slips onto the wind and disappears. The wind is also a positive object to direct attention too. By listening intently to the blowing of the wind a person can find another avenue to experiences the nuances of nature through the auditory sense. Looking and Listening intently to nature can probably help anyone who thinks too much to get out of their head?

    So it, seems that nature isnít just what sustains us through physical means It is also a great way to heal and sustain the mind in a positive state. iíve found many great nature scene to help ease my mind, and all I had to do was step out my front door.

    >>>>>>So far this is what I got...

    I walked outside today and looked at the tree in the middle of my yard. I noticed that the tree was large and tall. It was really an amazing thing to behold. Such a large tree in the sunshine with patches of snow across the land. Is there anything better than taking a break from the computer screen to go absorb some nature scenes.

    Looking out into nature after staring at the computer, for hours can really ease tension on the eyes When a person goes into nature and letís their vision expand to the horizon, it seems that any tension that may have Accumulated just slips onto the wind and disappears. The wind is also a positive object to direct attention too. By listening intently to the blowing of the wind a person can find another avenue to experiences the nuances of nature through the auditory sense. Looking and Listening intently to nature can probably help anyone who thinks too much to get out of their head?

    So it seems that nature isnít just what sustains us through physical means. It's also a great way to heal and sustain the mind in a positive state. Iíve found many great nature scene to help ease my mind and all I had to do was step out my front door.

    • Member Info
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    • Join Date: Nov 2002
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    #2

    Re: Help w/paragraphs



    I walked outside today and looked at the tree in the middle of my yard. I noticed that it was large and tall (I'm not greatly taken with these ajectives- how about 'noticed how tall it was'). It was really an amazing thing to behold. Such a large tree in the sunshine with patches of snow across the land. Is there anything better than taking a break from the computer screen to go absorb some nature scenes (not a very natural phrase- 'to appreciate the beauties of nature')?

    Looking out into nature after staring at the computer for hours can really ease tension on the eyes When a person goes into nature and letís their vision expand to the horizon, it seems that any tension that may have accumulated (may have built up) just slips onto the wind and disappears (disappears in the wind) . The wind is also a positive object to direct attention too (Wind is worthy of attention???) . By listening intently to the blowing of the wind a person can find another avenue to experience the nuances of nature through the auditory sense. Looking and listening intently to nature can probably help anyone who thinks too much to get out of their head (this sounds funny because 'out of your head' means 'intoxicated'- 'get away from things'?)?

    So it seems that nature isnít just what sustains us through physical means. It's also a great way to heal and sustain the mind in a positive state. Iíve found many great nature scenes to help ease my mind and all I had to do was step out my front door.

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