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    #1

    Help me with the IELTS essay

    This is my IELTS essay, please help me check the errors and grammar structures. Thanks a lot.
    Topic:
    You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
    Write about the following topic:
    More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.
    + What is your opinion?
    + Do you think rich countries should pay poorer countries for the people they encourage to come?
    + What other measures could rich countries take to encourage qualified people to stay and help develop their own countries?
    You should write ate least 250 words.
    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


    Nowadays, developed countries are very powerful and need more outside employers to help these countries. Therefore, they make a law that imports human resources from poorer countries to work in their countries. Unfortunately, this is a problem that makes poorer countries loses their citizens and they cannot develop as fast as developed countries.

    Poor countries do not have enough natural resources, modern technologies and effective management, which causes many people that do not have jobs and these people become homeless. Besides, personal expensesthat they pay every month are so high and they do not have enough money to buy necessary goods. Therefore, they have to study for good jobs such as: workers, nurses, and so on to sustain their life. Moreover, if they have a lot of experiences in their jobs, they will try to find ways to work in developed countries like Australia, New Zealand, Europe countries and especially is America. That is the best way for them to find a new and wonderful life.
    Their needs/ loans

    Rich countries should pay more on qualified people that came to their country to work. Their citizens work well but may be non-citizens work better. Most of them come from Asian countries and they want to be paid higher. In my opinion, rich countries should aim to concentrate on jobs that they need human resources very much to help qualified people. For example, they can organize a society to open classes for qualified people to motivate their skills and improve their English skills. Most of Asian people are not good in writing and speaking skills. Besides, the government should open some programs to encourage qualified people work in national centers or community services.

    To sum up, I think rich countries can develop their society by opening immigration law for qualified people to study, work and become their citizens.


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    #2

    Re: Help me with the IELTS essay

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Nowadays, developed countries are very powerful and need more outside employers to help these countries.


    to help themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Therefore, they make a law that imports human resources from poorer countries to work in their countries.
    They implement a policy to encourage the influx of foreign talent.


    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post

    Poor countries do not have enough natural resources
    I don't agree with this. Because many poor countries do have natural resources.

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    which causes many people that do not have jobs and these people become homeless.
    Thus, many people become unemployed and homeless.

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Moreover, if they have a lot of experiences in their jobs, they will try to find ways to work in developed countries like Australia, New Zealand, Europe countries and especially is America
    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Their citizens work well but may be non-citizens work better.
    maybe

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    In my opinion, rich countries should aim to concentrate on jobs that they need human resources very much to help qualified people.
    Your sentence is kind of hard to understand. Perhaps, you want to rephrase it.

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Most of Asian people are not good in writing and speaking skills
    good at writing and speaking English?

    * And you have not addressed this question:

    + Do you think rich countries should pay poorer countries for the people they encourage to come?

    You essay has a few grammatical errors and expression errors. You make some sweeping statements. You should make use of works like "maybe, perhaps, it is my opinion ..." to give yourself a leeway.

    Think deep to the core and don't just touch the surface of the problem. Express yourself more clearly. Good luck!

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
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    #3

    Re: Help me with the IELTS essay

    Thank you.

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