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Thread: Moving to USA

  1. #1
    Ofelia's Avatar
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    Default Moving to USA

    hello everybody!
    my teacher told everybody to think about significant even we are going to write about in the next class. also he said it would be good if we give it to someone to check for grammar! since it is a little hard to express what i want to say i thought here, on the forum, someone can help me to correct some sentences and check for grammar and punctuation.
    it has to contain 5 paragraphs. thank you all!

    Moving to the USA

    Nowadays, many people in the world believe that anyone looks for romance online is lonely and desperate for companionship. However, I was not in that category. In fact, meeting my husband online was completely accidental. When I saw Barry`s picture for the first time, he somewhat reminded me of an innocent happy child with his big blue eyes and wide genuine smile on his face. The longer we talked the better we knew each other. Barry and I had a lot in common; we shared the same hopes and dreams. In a few months we realized that we meant to be together. Unfortunately, we lived in different countries, and, therefore, I had to make a difficult decision to move to the United States.
    The first time going to the USA was also the first time going by air. Naturally, even thinking about perspective flying made me pretty frightened, especially after all those horrible news of airplane crashes and terrorist attacks. Once I got onto the plane and sat down, I started thinking about my family, friends, my school and the job that I left behind for the man I wanted to be with. I really hoped that everything would work out well between us because I sacrificed a lot for this relationship. After everyone got seated, the stewardess came over the intercom and explained various safety procedures, including how to put the seat belts on correctly. As the plane approached the runaway I began to feel seriously nervous about the idea of making this flight safely. Yet, by the time the plane had reached cruising altitude I got relaxed. The rest of air travel seemed quite long and boring.
    In an hour, all the passengers were relaxed and started talking with each other making funny jokes and giving practical advices to the first time visitors of the United States. I was sitting next to a Russian man who was flying to the United States with his circus team in order to perform. They were planning to travel around the country for about six months with their new show. I was pleased to have such an interesting travel companion and to be able to have engaging conversation with someone I barely knew. Being able to chat during a long flight not only took my mind off disturbing worries but also helped the time pass faster. A quarter of the way through the trip, the stewardess came around and served everyone food and beverages. I, finally, was so exhausted that I could think about nothing but sleep. Suddenly, the sound of guitar and a professional singer`s voice woke me up. I saw a group of people gathered around a middle-aged woman with red hair. Apparently, the group was enjoying her singing. Soon, she was interrupted by the stewardess` announcement that everyone had to sit down and put their seat belts on. People seemed a little disappointed and, at the same time, glad that their air travel was coming to an end. We were about to land. My destination was only 30 minutes away!
    Finally, we landed successfully at Atlanta`s airport where I had to pass through an immigration procedure specifically for people with type of visa I had. It took a while to speak to all those immigration officers and to show them all my documents. Because I felt completely lost in the huge airport building, I was desperately looking at the signs, doors and endless hallways trying to find my way around. I was also afraid to discover that my luggage was lost. I brought along many things that were important to me and It would be sad to lose them. Luckily, there was no need to worry. When the business with the immigration and the luggage was over, I began to think about more pleasant things. The closer I got to the exit the more excited and anxious I was. I hoped my boyfriend had come to the airport and was still waiting for me because I knew nobody in this country except him.
    When I noticed the crowd of people looking in my direction, I knew it was the place where I would see Barry. After an eleven-hour flight, my appearance was not as pretty as I'd like it to be. I had a tired face, my clothes had many wrinkles and my hair was totally messed-up. The whole thing made me feel very uncomfortable. I was not crazy about the idea of showing up looking like this in front of my husband-to-be. I finally saw him standing with a big bouquet of roses and that big beautiful smile on his face, that I remembered very well since his last visit to Russia. We stood hugging each other for several minutes, talking about my trip and sharing thoughts about our experiences while living apart. Barry grabbed my luggage, and we began to walk towards the door outside. In that moment I thought a lot about our bright future and little about the possible difficulties that I was going to experience adapting to unfamiliar strange culture. I will never regret my choice of moving to America nor would I change anything if I even could. It is the most memorable event in my life!
    Last edited by Ofelia; 24-Oct-2010 at 16:37.

  2. #2
    Ofelia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to USA

    i`ve made several corections already, 58 people looked at it and nobody answered if my essay is good enough or find any mistakes or worng punctuation.... plz help me to make a final correction!!!!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Moving to USA

    hello everybody!
    my teacher told everybody to think about significant even we are going to write about in the next class. also he said it would be good if we give it to someone to check for grammar! since it is a little hard to express what i want to say i thought here, on the forum, someone can help me to correct some sentences and check for grammar and punctuation.
    it has to contain 5 paragraphs. thank you all!

    i`ve made several corections already, 58 people looked at it and nobody answered if my essay is good enough or find any mistakes or worng punctuation.... plz help me to make a final correction!!!!!!!!!

    I cannot understand why someone who is capable of writing such an excellent essay deliberately chooses to write covering messages in execrable and careless English like the above. It's almost insulting to those whose help you are requesting and distinctly unhelpful to other learners who look at this forum for examples of well-written standard English - at least from those who are able to do so.

    Rant over.

    Double-space your paragraphs to provide the eye with relief from that solid block of text.


    Moving to the USA

    Nowadays, many people in the world believe that anyone looking for romance online is lonely and desperate for companionship. However, I was not in that category. In fact, meeting my husband online was completely accidental. When I saw Barry`s picture for the first time, he reminded me somewhat of an innocent happy child with his big blue eyes and wide genuine smile. The longer we talked the better we got to know each other. Barry and I had a lot in common; we shared the same hopes and dreams. In a few months we realized that we were meant to be together. Unfortunately, we lived in different countries, so I had to make the difficult decision to move to the United States.

    My first visit to the USA was also the first time I had flown. Naturally, even the prospect of flying made me pretty frightened, especially after all those horrible stories of airplane crashes and terrorist attacks. Once I got onto the plane and sat down, I started thinking about my family, friends, my school and the job that I had left behind for the man I wanted to be with. I really hoped that everything would work out well between us because I had sacrificed a lot for this relationship. After everyone was seated, the stewardess came over the intercom and explained various safety procedures, including how to put the seat belts on correctly. As the plane approached the runway I began to feel seriously nervous about the idea of making this flight safely. Yet, by the time the plane had reached cruising altitude I had relaxed. The rest of the flight seemed quite long and boring.

    In an hour, all the passengers were relaxed and started talking with each other - making funny jokes and giving practical advice to the first-time visitors to the United States. I was sitting next to a Russian man who was flying to the US with his circus team in order to perform. They were planning to travel around the country for about six months with their new show. I was pleased to have such an interesting travel companion and to be able to have an engaging conversation with someone I barely knew. Being able to chat during a long flight not only took my mind off disturbing worries but also helped the time pass faster. A quarter of the way through the trip, the stewardess came around and served everyone food and beverages. Finally, I was so exhausted that I could think about nothing but sleep. Suddenly, the sound of a guitar and a professional singer`s voice woke me up. I saw a group of people gathered around a middle-aged woman with red hair. Apparently, the group was enjoying her singing. Soon, she was interrupted by the stewardess`s announcement that everyone had to sit down and put their seat belts on. People seemed a little disappointed but at the same time glad that their air travel was coming to an end. We were about to land. My destination was only 30 minutes away!

    Finally, we landed safely at Atlanta airport where I had to pass through an immigration procedure specifically for people with the type of visa I had. It took a while to speak to all those immigration officers and to show them all my documents. Because I felt completely lost in the huge airport building, I was desperately looking at the signs, doors and endless hallways trying to find my way around. I was also afraid to discover that my luggage had been lost. I had brought along many things that were important to me and it would be sad to lose them. Luckily, there was no need to worry. When the business with the immigration and the luggage was over, I began to think about more pleasant things. The closer I got to the exit the more excited and anxious I was. I hoped my boyfriend had come to the airport and was still waiting for me because I knew nobody in this country except him.

    When I noticed the crowd of people looking in my direction, I knew it was the place where I would see Barry. After an eleven-hour flight, my appearance was not as pretty as I would have liked it to be. I had a tired face, my clothes had many wrinkles and my hair was totally messed-up. The whole thing made me feel very uncomfortable. I was not crazy about the idea of showing up looking like this in front of my husband-to-be. I finally saw him standing with a big bouquet of roses and that big beautiful smile on his face that I remembered very well since his last visit to Russia. We stood hugging each other for several minutes, talking about my trip and sharing thoughts about our experiences while living apart. Barry grabbed my luggage, and we began to walk towards the door outside. In that moment I thought a lot about our bright future and little about the possible difficulties that I was going to experience adapting to an unfamiliar and strange culture. I will never regret my choice of moving to America nor would I change anything even if I could. It is the most memorable event in my life!


    Good luck,


    Rover
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 25-Oct-2010 at 03:33.

  4. #4
    Ofelia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to USA

    thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! i was in a hurry. i appreciate your help! i need this essay on Monday that is why i wrote my comments about people looking at it and who even didn`t want to help...
    i apologize!

  5. #5
    birdeen's call is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Moving to USA

    Quote Originally Posted by Ofelia View Post
    thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! i was in a hurry. i appreciate your help! i need this essay on Monday that is why i wrote my comments about people looking at it and who even didn`t want to help...
    i apologize!
    I think what Rover meant was that people are put off by the way you type. Please, use capital letters where appropriate.

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