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Thread: Punctuation

  1. #1
    nesc is offline Newbie
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    Default Punctuation

    Hello,

    please check if my punctuation is correct, i'm not really sure at all.

    "Billy had several more visits from the aliens. Sometimes they ate snacks on his Buick; sometimes they played music and danced. One
    alien, in particular, became Billy's friend. The alien taught Billy some
    good tricks: a foolproof method for shooting foul shots, a lip-smacking recipe for tadpoles, and a way to make his eyes change color at will.
    Later in life, Billy found himself married, with two small children, living in a peaceful suburb. He said that he couldn't be happier. "You miss the aliens." said his wife one night; putting the children to bed. She was right; his Buick had long gone to the scrap heap; and the aliens, once his friends, did not appear anymore. Sometimes it made Billy sad, but he threw himself into his work as an accountant for a chain of dry cleaners; and occasionally he made a little money making bets on his foul-shooting. Although he lived a sedate, quiet life; he always treasured the days of snacking on the Buick with the aliens."


    greets
    nesc

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is online now VIP Member
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    Default Re: Punctuation

    Quote Originally Posted by nesc View Post
    Hello,

    Please check if my punctuation is correct; I'm not really sure at all.
    (In English we don't join two sentences with a comma. An alternative would be to make two sentences.) We also capitalise our words correctly in ordinary text such as the above.

    "Billy had several more visits from the aliens. Sometimes they ate snacks on his Buick; sometimes they played music and danced.
    Yes, this good. But why did you do it here, and not above? Proper English is not just for school.

    One alien, in particular, became Billy's friend.
    In a very short sentence like this, I'd omit both commas.
    The alien taught Billy some good tricks: a foolproof method for shooting foul shots, a lip-smacking recipe for tadpoles, and a way to make his eyes change color at will.
    Later in life, Billy found himself married , with two small children, living in a peaceful suburb. He said that he couldn't be happier. "You miss the aliens," said his wife one night, putting the children to bed. She was right; his Buick had long gone to the scrap heap ; and the aliens, once his friends, did not appear anymore. Sometimes it made Billy sad, but he threw himself into his work as an accountant for a chain of dry cleaners ; and occasionally he made a little money making bets on his foul-shooting. Although he lived a sedate, quiet life, ; he always treasured the days of snacking on the Buick with the aliens."

    greets
    nesc
    Generally good. You're using semicolons too often. You should use them to join two related sentences, as I've explained, but not if you use a conjunction such as 'and'.

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