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  1. #1
    airpork is offline Newbie
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    IELTS writing task 2. Please proofread and correct.

    "Young people are spending too much time on computers and this will lead to a decline in the health and physical fitness of youths across the world."
    To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    Write at least 250 words.
    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.



    In the world that we are living in now, youngsters are getting increasingly dependent on computers and gadgets. With an ease of a mouse click, people could do their grocery from the comfort of their own home. Thus, the needs of physical activities are being neglected by people.

    The advantage of using the computer provides us the convenience to have more time for other activities. But instead of utilizing the extra time to go outdoors, young people chooses to remain at home. As the growths of gaming industry and online entertainment, such as, facebook and youtube allows people to connect and interact with each other, via the cyberspace without the need to step out of their house.

    These resulted, the decrease in physical activities which will lead to poor health and weaker physical fitness globally. Moreover, prolonged exposure to computer screen stresses the eyes which lead to vision problems. Frequent short rest should be allowed from time to time, as it releases the tension from prolong staring. Long hours of using the computer, will not only cause health issues to the body but also to the mental wellbeing of a person. Thus, young people should hit the outdoors more often in order to maintain a balance and healthier lifestyle, despite the ease created by our technology.

    In conclusion, government and school should actively promote health awareness to young people, so that even with the conveniences created by our technology, they should not be spend too much time focusing on computers and neglect their personal wellbeing.

  2. #2
    airpork is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS writing task 2. Please proofread and correct.

    please help ! i'm having my IELTS tomorrow :(

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