I am preparing for the toefl test. This is my practicing essay. Can you edit this carefully. I will care a lot about your comments. Thanks.
Topic: do you agree or disagree with this statement:
Actions speak louder then words.
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
From the ancient time, by actions, human being has been constructed the world. Many wonders around the world are created buy human labor. Also, by working, human being has made many advancements in many areas. In contrast, words sometime are not reliable, they do not correspond to work. Therefore, I am in agreement that works speak louder than words. My points of view will be elaborated and exemplified as follow.
To begin with, from the moment human being appeared on the earth, they built their world by their actions. For example, pharaohs in Egyptian ancient time used slavery labor to build their pyramids. Thousands of slavers were used to construct these wonders. Latter, depending on his citizens' labor, the mighty emperor Qin Shi Huang built the Great Wall helping China to fortify its enemies. In modern time, many architects constructed fantastic architectures, such as Gustave Eiffel build a steel tower bearing his name in France.
In addition, with our work, we have made many advancements in many areas. In the past, Darwin invented evolution theory of species. This is a big step of human understanding about nature. Also, Newton invented many crucial theories in physics and mathematics, such as three principles of motion, gravity and so on. Later, Einstein discovered relative theory that ushered a new area in technology. Besides, many advancements in other areas, such as medicine, chemistry have been make my human works.
Finally, in contrast, words are sometimes unreliable. We can see this in our normal days. Quite often, someone says that he or she can do some kinds of work, but actually the works are more difficult than he or she thinks. For example, my friend told me that he can communicate comfortably with an American after just 2 months living in US. However, after these two months, he can only speak and listen to simple speeches.
In conclusion, I believe that works are much more effective than words. By working, we has been constructing our world from ancient time, and made improvements in areas. Whereas, words are sometimes not reliable.
Thank you for your correction. I think I have learned a lot from your correction.
Do you think I support well the topic. Do you think that my ideas are relevant?
If not, how should I develop this topic?