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  1. #1
    HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
    HaraKiriBlade is offline Member
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    Default [Proofread] Another complaint letter... this time, to Tim Hortons!

    Dear Sir / Madam,

    I'm hereby writing this letter to inform you of very unpleasent experience I had with one of your staff on July 17, 2005. It was 7:15 in the morning when I came in, and this poker-faced, teenage-looking male staff took my order. He wasn't the most helpful staff and was very slow and unmotivated, but I'm not going to complain about it. I work at a family-run convenience store just two houses apart from your Tim Hortons, and I must say I can be less than perfect in dealing with customers when I'm tired and down. It was still early in the morning and let's just say he's had a bad day.

    But I couldn't let one thing go. He handled my turkey bacon sandwich with bare hands!! Well to be exact, he wore the plastic glove in one hand only, and was juggling with the sandwich ingredients. But he did touch the bun and lettuce with his other bare hand. I would've said something if I wasn't running late and had to open the store.

    A few weeks back I received a letter from Region of Waterloo Public Health, informing HepA has occured in two foodhandlers in two restaurants in Waterloo Region. What do you think would've come across my mind when I saw one of your staff handling food that way? I canned the sandwich as soon as I walked into my store. $6.40 down to the trashcan.

    I expect any eatery I get from Tim Hortons to be in good hygiene. And one such indicent is enough to make me think that maybe it's not always the case. I feel very much betrayed. I talked about it with some regular customers at the store. Many of them are Tim Hortons regulars also, and they too weren't happy to hear my story. One of them informed me that the staff who served me started working last week, and that he only works in weekends.

    I'll leave his disposition up to you as I should. But if you choose to keep him I expect you to be more stringent about enforcing the guidelines to your staff. Oh, and I want my money back.

    Regards,

    HaraKiriBlade @ Blah Blyat Variety

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: [Proofread] Another complaint letter... this time, to Tim Hortons!

    I'd delete 'hereby'- it sounds a bit fake to me. I'd say 'member of staff', but I'm not sure how Americans use the noun.

    What do you think would've come across my mind - I'd just say 'went through my mind'

    To me, 'eatery' is the place, not the food, so I'd say 'I expect any food I get from Toim Hortons to meet hygiene standards', or something like that.

    'In weekends'? 'On'? I thought 'on' was the perposition Stateside.

    Oh, and I want my money back.- Not very fond of the 'oh'. I'd ask for a refund.

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