thank you very very much!
i made the changes and also change one small sentence.
also the sentence ''in my being in continuous contact'' is it correct? cause it sounds a little bit weird to me.
hope its ok now.
and thanks again for checking it.
Dear admissions officers.
I am applying for entrance for the International Business Administration program at Erasmus University, Rotterdam, in September 2011.My purpose in this letter is to present my reasons for choosing your university and to provide my general background.
First of all, I would like to introduce myself. My name is George and I was born and raised in Corfu, a small island in Greece. My father is from Greece and my mother is from the U.S.A. Due to my mother I was speaking English at a very young age. Later on, while I was in high school and until now, during the summertime, I work at our small family business at a tourist resort. Working at the family business has resulted in my being in continuous contact with people from every part of the world all summer long. Summer work helps me practice my English and also improves my social skills since I constantly communicate with English-speaking people. Our family business was also a good opportunity for me to get more involved and participate in the management of the business.
During high school I had already decide what I wanted to do, and that was business management. I took business administration and economy courses in high school. I graduated from high school in Corfu and continued my studies for the next two years in Athens where I live now. In July I will obtain my post-secondary diploma in Business Administration and Economy.
I want to enroll in the IBA program because I want to take my knowledge and my studies to the next level. I want to have the opportunity to study a profession that I have always wanted to do. From when I was in high school I was involved with anything that had to do with business I took courses at high school, worked at our business and always tried to get good results. I am very energetic and willing to take more responsibilities but I first need to have the right knowledge. Now I am putting all my energy to do the best I can do at my studies. I believe that enrolling in the IBA program at Erasmus University is the best thing I can do for my future.
After researching European universities, I have come to the conclusion that Erasmus University is the perfect match for my aims. For a start, the Netherlands is a country a lot more advanced in the social sciences, modern economy and structure than most other countries. Among several great features of this institution the most important for me is that students from around the world are attending a variety of programs. With a very good educational program and environment, it is the university where I hope to continue my studies.
Finally, being very motivated and ambitious I want to work on an international level and experience the benefits of teamwork. I believe that Erasmus University is the perfect place to start my career, since the institute is international in character and the experience I will gain is very important for my future business career.
Thank you for considering my application and for your time.
- For Teachers