- For Teachers
Hi my dear friends.
I hope you are all fine.
In fact, I want you to check my writing please.
Here is a story about an adventure, I am sorry it's a little bit long. I tried to make it shorter but I failed.
Here it is.
One day Robert was on holiday on the coast with his father and his younger sister. In the evening they went out on a small fishing boat to have some fish for dinner. While they were fishing the motor stopped and Robert's father was not able to start it again. Robert also gave it a try to start the motor but he failed too. They were stuck in water unable neither to go on their trip nor go back home. They fired a signal flare for emergency but unfortunately no one saw the light. Two hours passed now and they were still stuck in the sea. There were no signs of survival; the sister was so afraid therefore she suggested to shout so that someone may hear their calling and help them. They kept shouting for more than ten minutes but no one heard them. They got tired of shouting and sat in silence thinking of what may happen in the next hours. They were very scared and unable to do anything. The father was trying to calm his kids down and telling them that soon they will be rescued when Albert suddenly shouted 'there is a shark getting closer to our boat'. The sister was really frightened of the scary shark; she began shouting 'help! help!'. The shark started knocking the boat strongly. Therefore, the father tried to scare the shark but he didnít manage to. 'I will kill you ' said Robert. He hit the shark with a harpoon but it missed its target .
The shark now began knocking the boat more strongly than expected. Finally a fisherman could see from afar that they were in trouble. So, he took his gun out and shot the shark. After that the man got closer to the boat where Robert, the father and the sister were in a state of shock. They thanked the fisherman and asked him if he can fix the motor. Luckily, he could start it. Then they went all home. It was a dangerous adventure for Robert that he will never forget.
Is well structured? are the sentences connected properly?
I trust you all, that's why I am asking you about my writing.