IELTS task 2, Please proofread -urgent-

[airpork]

The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget.
Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out
private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care
system which provides free health services for all? Discuss.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A much debated issue these days is whether government should take responsibility on providing free health services for all citizens or for individuals to take out their own private health insurance premium, as the advance of medical equipments and new treatments comes along with the increasing cost for newer treatments options. In this essay I will discuss about who should take main responsibility for medical service.

Firstly, those who can afford to pay for health insurance premium should at their own expenses protect themselves from unforeseen circumstances such as accidents or illnesses. By paying for their private health insurance, they are insured to paying lesser or even nothing at all when such incident occurs. In addition, the health insurance they are paying usually entitles them to choosing their own doctors or preferred hospitals.

On the other hand, subsidize from the government should be provided as a form of relief from the high expenses of treatments to those who earn lesser and those suffering from chronic illnesses. For example, a Lung cancer treatment usually stretches over a long period of time and cost a lot.

In conclusion, those who can afford paying for health insurance should take responsibility to insure them from the high cost of medical services when needed. And subsidize should be provided to citizen who earns lesser so that they can receive equal quality of treatment in order for them to get back to the workforce.

 

[Franklin-the IELTS fan]

The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget.

Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out
private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care
system which provides free health services for all? Discuss.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A much debated issue these days is whether government should take responsibility on providing free health services for all citizens or for individuals to take out their own private health insurance premium, as the advancement of medical equipment and new treatments come along with the increasing cost for newer treatments options. In this essay, I will discuss about who should take the main responsibility for medical service.

Firstly, those who can afford to pay for health insurance premiums should at their own expenses protect themselves from unforeseen circumstances such as accidents or illnesses. By paying for their private health insurance, they are insured to paying lesser or even nothing at all when incident occurs. In addition, the health insurance they pay usually entitles them to choosing their own doctors or preferred hospitals.

On the other hand, subsidy from the government should be provided to those who earn lesser and those suffering from chronic illnesses as a form of relief from the high expenses of treatments. For example, a lung cancer treatment usually stretches over a long period of time and costs a lot.

In conclusion, those who can afford paying for health insurance should take responsibility to insure themselves from the high cost of medical services when needed. Subsidy should be provided to citizens who earn lesser so that they can receive equal quality of treatment in order for them to get back to the workforce.

Some points:


- 236 words only. 14 words short of the required
- equipment never has an –s-.
- Modifiers SHOULD be placed nearest the word/words they modify. Thus:
On the other hand, subsidy from the government should be provided to those who earn lesser and those suffering from chronic illnesses as a form of relief from the high expenses of treatments.