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  1. #1
    PremierAp is offline Newbie
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    Default Please check my essay. Ielts writing task 2.

    Advertising is all around us. It is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Everything has a two side and advertising is not an exception. Today's is great possibility to see some kind of disgusting ads on TV, also we have a chance to see something useful when advertise is showed on media.
    On one side, anything more consumed than it is naturally is not good. Same thing is with propagand materials which call people to buy clothes, cosmetics, cars ... .When TV is turned up every ten minutes someone will except movie or emision and suggest that it is right moment or best decision to buy new car, a hair shampoo, or new fashionable clothes. Best time to buy something is definitely when we have money, not when they call us.
    Also some commercial materials are not adopted to children. When at 5 o'clock PM, suddenly violence is showed on TV, in negatively effect on children education and growing. Directors and Writters of programs must take care of it, and suspend situation like that above-mentioned.
    On the other side, advertising makers in some situations prepare very interesting and funny ads whics helps people to relax after stressed and long working. In advertising area is included many people. They earn wages and lot of people live from that. Also, Governemt with taxes received from ads earn money, which will be involved in buildings, new parks, hospitals, kindergardens... . Content of ads can be something useful when is discount period. It saves a lot of time because people already have got an information where to buy stafff which is discounted. They do not lose time to find cheaper product in several shops.
    In conclusion, advertising may be useful if it is dosed in normal quantity and when violence is excluded from. Moreover, Governemt definetely must limit time for advertising on TV, or size when the Internet advertising is in focus.

  2. #2
    maddy1 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please check my essay. Ielts writing task 2.

    Sentence formation is poor with plenty of gramatical errors. I can give you 5.0/4.5

  3. #3
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Please check my essay. Ielts writing task 2.

    Quote Originally Posted by PremierAp View Post
    Advertising is all around us. It is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while other say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Everything has a two side and advertising is not an exception.
    This is the second time I've read this silly statement in 2 days. Is someone teaching students to start an essay with "Everything has two sides, and <topic> is no exception"? It's wrong. Advertising does not have two sides.
    You are probably referring to the argument, which could have some validity, if one wants to project an artificial dichotomy onto the world.

    Today's is great possibility to see some kind of disgusting ads on TV, also we have a chance to see something useful when advertise is showed on media.
    On one side, anything more consumed than it is naturally is not good. Same thing is with propagand materials which call people to buy clothes, cosmetics, cars ... .When TV is turned up every ten minutes someone will except movie or emision and suggest that it is right moment or best decision to buy new car, a hair shampoo, or new fashionable clothes. Best time to buy something is definitely when we have money, not when they call us.
    Also some commercial materials are not adopted to children. When at 5 o'clock PM, suddenly violence is showed on TV, in negatively effect on children education and growing. Directors and Writters of programs must take care of it, and suspend situation like that above-mentioned.
    On the other side, advertising makers in some situations prepare very interesting and funny ads whics helps people to relax after stressed and long working. In advertising area is included many people. They earn wages and lot of people live from that. Also, Governemt with taxes received from ads earn money, which will be involved in buildings, new parks, hospitals, kindergardens... . Content of ads can be something useful when is discount period. It saves a lot of time because people already have got an information where to buy stafff which is discounted. They do not lose time to find cheaper product in several shops.
    In conclusion, advertising may be useful if it is dosed in normal quantity and when violence is excluded from. Moreover, Governemt definetely must limit time for advertising on TV, or size when the Internet advertising is in focus.
    Patchy grammar. Also, you've made a lot of spelling mistakes. I'd advise using a spell-checker. This will help you to remember how to spell common words.

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