O.K. this won't be easy. The passage you quoted is very rich in obscure metaphors.
The D.A.R is the Daughters of the American Revolution, a women's organization whose members claim to all be descendents of the original founders of America, and who (supposedly) feel superior to anyone who isn't.
The writer is saying that the original founders of America were not snobs like the DAR. They did not establish this country so that the rich could exploit the poor just so they could get richer. The founders did not create this country so that the people in power would, through their greed, create an enviroment where millions of people would practically kill themselves just to stay alive.
...Pot-bellied etc...just an outrageous comparison
sweat the piss out of ...force to work to exhaustion
...in... a fix in a predicament, in trouble, in a bad situation
...whack-off in this context it means to chop off. Careful! sometimes this means masturbate
...three squares and a flop three square (well-balanced) meals and a place to sleep (flop).