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Thread: TOEFL essay

  1. #1
    tosucceed999 is offline Newbie
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    TOEFL essay

    Please help me to check this essay.
    Topic: Global warming
    Thanks a lot.
    In the twentieth- first century, modern technology and developments increase very fast. It makes humans’ life become more comfortable and convenient. However, running with that speed of innovations, pollution and bad effects appear to our life, which leads to global warming and greenhouse gases problems.
    In the twentieth century, human began applied the industrial revolution in producing high technology equipment and improving high living standard, cars, airplanes and motorbikes become the popular transportation in the world. During the industrial process, human had burnt so much fossil fuel and energy for normal life, which lead to the greenhouse effect. When sunlight reaches Earth's surface some is absorbed and warms the earth and most of the rest is radiated back to the atmosphere at a longer wavelength than the sun light. The reflecting back of heat energy by the atmosphere is called the "greenhouse effect". The higher the concentration of green house gases like carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, the more heat energy is being reflected back to the Earth. The emission of carbon dioxide into the environment mainly from burning of fossil fuels (oil, gas, petrol, kerosene, etc.) has been increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This includes burning coal to produce electricity as well as burning gasoline to power internal combustion engine vehicles.
    When the greenhouse gases increases with high speed, there will be many consequences to the Earth. As northern countries warm, disease carrying insects migrate north, which bring plague and disease to the humans, especially are mosquitoes and rats. When the temperature of oceans rises, there will be more frequent and stronger hurricanes. Although some areas of Earth will become wetter due to global warming, other areas will suffer serious droughts and heat waves. Africa will receive the worst of it, with more severe droughts also expected in Europe. Water is already a dangerously rare commodity in Africa, and according to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, global warming will exacerbate the conditions and could lead to conflicts and war.
    To solve this problem, we should do it by ourselves. For example, we need to turn off the lights when we go out of the house, use the electronic appliances that have “energy star” brand on the products that you buy. Using efficient light bulb can help you to save money and electricity. Planting trees is also the good behaviour to the environment. Many scientists have proved that trees can trap carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and make carbohydrates that are used for plant growth.
    To sum up, global warming is still a big problem for us to discuss. However, we can do small actions in our normal life with the environment around us, which can make the benefit for better future.

  2. #2
    johng is offline Newbie
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    Re: TOEFL essay

    Quote Originally Posted by tosucceed999 View Post
    Please help me to check this essay.
    Topic: Global warming
    Thanks a lot.
    In the twentieth- first century, modern technology and developments increase have increased very fast quickly. It makes humans’ life lives become more comfortable and convenient. However, running with that speed of innovations, pollution and bad effects appear to our life, which leads to global warming and greenhouse gases problems.
    In the twentieth century, humans began applied to apply the industrial revolution model or practices? in producing high technology equipment and improving high living standard the standard of living. Cars, airplanes and motorbikes become became the popular transportation in the world. During the industrial process, humans had burnt so much fossil fuel and energy for normal life, which lead led to the greenhouse effect. When sunlight reaches Earth's surface some is absorbed and warms the earth and most of the rest is radiated back to the atmosphere at a longer wavelength than the sun light. The reflecting back of heat energy by the atmosphere is called the "greenhouse effect". The higher the concentration of green house gases like carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, the more heat energy is being reflected back to the Earth. The emission of carbon dioxide into the environment mainly from burning of fossil fuels (oil, gas, petrol, kerosene, etc.) has been increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This includes burning coal to produce electricity as well as burning gasoline to power internal combustion engine vehicles.
    When the greenhouse gases increases with high speed, there will be many consequences to the Earth. As northern countries warm, disease carrying insects migrate north, which bring plague and disease to the humans, especially are mosquitoes and rats I am not sure what the subject of are is, so I can't understand why mosquitoes and rats are included in the sentence. When the temperature of oceans rises, there will be more frequent and stronger hurricanes. Although some areas of Earth will become wetter due to global warming, other areas will suffer serious droughts and heat waves. Africa will receive the worst of it, with more severe droughts also expected in Europe. Water is already a dangerously rare commodity in Africa, and according to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, global warming will exacerbate the conditions and could lead to conflicts and war.
    To solve this problem, we should do it by ourselves. For example, we need to turn off the lights when we go out of the house, use the electronic appliances that have “energy star” brand on the products that you buy. Using energy efficient light bulbs can help you <-- you might consider using "us" instead of "you" to maintain your pronoun consistency.] to save money and electricity. Planting trees is also the a good behaviour to for the environment. Many scientists have proved that trees can trap carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and make carbohydrates that are used for plant growth.
    To sum up, global warming is still a big problem for us to discuss. However, we can do small actions in our normal life lives with the environment around us, which can make the benefit for better the future.
    Here are my suggestions. Good luck.

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