Any good teacher can help me to corret my Ielts essay....thanks very much!
btw, which score can I attain
In some societies, more and more people choose to live on their own, what reason for this,
and is it a positive or negative trend?
With the development of science and society as a whole, more and more people choose to
live independently. Some people regard it to be an advance of human society, while others
disbelieve. In my opinion, it is natural that people from different backgrounds hold
different views towards this issue. I will look into this phenomenon, and try to find
some possible reasons.
The reason why so many people choose to live an independent life is as follows:
Firstly, independence can help to exercise one's capability of solving problems. It is
generally believe that the majority of people are born with some talents, as long as they
try to use and spare no effort in exploring them, they can become successful one day.
Independent individuals are just people of this kind. They never turn to others or stop
trying until they find the solutions, thereby boosting their personal ability to tackle
different difficulties in life. Secondly, the independent spirit is very helpful to the
modern women. In the past, women do not have their own careers to make money, all that
they can do is to obey their husbands' orders. Only in this way, their status in families
can be ensured. By contrast, contemporary women are not so financially dependent on their
husbands. They no longer have to abide by their husbands' arbitrary orders and
increasingly win a more significant position in the family life as well as in society.
There are also many side effects exerting on people making livings in an independent way
and people around them. Initially, they are not used to asking for help when meeting
tough things. Indeed they are often good problem-solvers, yet in many cases, it is more
efficient to connect friends for assistants. However, they are so arrogant that they do
not wish to expose their shortcomings to others. More often than not, they choose to
confront difficulties on their own. In addition, influenced by their independent
ideology. These people tend to be unwilling to help others, because they take it for
grant that people should deal with their own business. whereas this behavior ,in fact,
will make people around them gradually indifferent to each other.
In conclusion, reasons for people to opt to live independently are mainly due to
developing personal ability or feminism. It is hard so say that the trend of independence
among people is positive or negative. It brings both merits and disadvantages. What I can
see is that independence is generally good, while people should avoid going to the
Last edited by xiaoxiaoca; 04-Jan-2011 at 12:22.
That's very good, xiaoxiaoca. It should score highly.
I only noticed mistakes in
Rover. . .because they take it for
granted that people should deal with their own business, whereas this behavior, . . .