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  1. #1
    dilruk336 is offline Newbie
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    Default IELTS Essay-2 BAND ?

    hi all,

    this is my second ielts essay. Please grade it for me. tnx


    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

    Nowadays we can see variety of game experienced by human all over the world.Playing games fun only when you win ? I will guide you rest of my essay giving reasons for itís not true accoriding to the my view.
    First of all , main aspect of a game is participation. We should have enough courage even for participate to a game. Every one cannot win. While some one wins the game definitely the other one loose. Itís the reality. We should have enough courage in order to accept the whatever result at end of the game. Most of the times some one not willing to accept the result might end up with big problem. Participation adds very important skills for our human lives . We need them in our day to day lives in order to avoid from occurring the problems.
    Other than that games help us to easing the stress among human lives , different nations and effectively spent our leisure time. Millions of fans all over the get together for enjoy some most popular games by forgetting all of their problem. They wish their team should perform better even they belong to different ethnic groups , nationalities. They become unity at least for that moment. Next thing . Most of us get very busy during our office lives. Even we donít have to care about our health. This can be even physical and mental health. Playing a game provide both this together exercise for our physical body as well as improve mental health by improving skills such like thinking ability this will cause us to remove our stress.
    Finally summing up all itís not true that games fun only when you win, games can do more than that.

  2. #2
    dilruk336 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: IELTS Essay-2 BAND ?

    hi all,

    please help me to gt through ielts by evaluating my second essay and provide me the feed back

    tnx

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: IELTS Essay-2 BAND ?

    Please write properly at all times. tnx is not acceptable in IELTS, so why should it be acceptable here?


    You need to look at article usage, subject/verb agreement, contracted forms, spelling and connecting sentences here.
    Last edited by Tdol; 14-Jan-2011 at 14:38.

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