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Thread: proof reading

  1. #1
    Moccalita is offline Newbie
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    Smile proof reading

    Can somebody proof read my letter of interest, I would be very greatful, thank you



    Dear Sirs:

    My name is XXX and I知 a senior at the Delta Secondary School in Ladner. I知 writing to express my interest in your Bachelor of Tourism Degree at the Vancouver Campus.

    The Tourism Management Program is very important to me because I believe that this program can help me find ______. It has been a dream of mine to deal with tourism and get to know all the different kinds of culturesthe world has to offer. I love to speak and use languages. I can speak German and English fluently and I can also speak the basics in Spanish and French. The tourism industry has always fascinated me by their amazing change in the economy that goes on and on.
    I have already had some work experience in the tourism career. Last summer I worked for Canadream, which is a RV rental company. I enjoyed working there and get to know people from all over the world. I haven稚 worked directly with the customers, but I knew that I wanted to do something with tourism in my life.
    I am planning on going to university and graduate from your four-year program to obtain my Bachelor degree in Tourism Management. After my degree I want to do masters and finally thereafter I want to work in the business career. My ultimate goal after the degree and postgraduate is to own my personal business. The reason why I want to study business is to pursue a career that helps me to expand my knowledge about the international market.
    The 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games were a huge win for Vancouver and British Columbia. It was a great tourism attraction for us, but now after the Winter Olympics are over, we have to look ahead and find a plan to attract even more tourists to come down to Vancouver and enjoy the view. We have to be creative to ______

    I am confident I will like and find even more motivation by taking this program. I also think that this career path is the right choice for me because I am very creative, self-directed and I have good communication skills. Studying at your school will help me to reach my full potential and be well prepared for a magnificent career in the tourism industry. Therefore it is my intention to apply for the Bachelor of Tourism Degree (starting next year in Fall) offered at the Capilano University. I will be so grateful if my application is considered in favorably. Thank you for your time and I am looking forward from hearing from you.

    Sincerely Yours,

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: proof reading

    Quote Originally Posted by Moccalita View Post
    Can somebody proof read my letter of interest, I would be very greatful, thank you



    Dear Sirs: Sir or Madam:

    My name is XXX and I知 a senior at the Delta Secondary School in Ladner. I知 writing to express my interest in your Bachelor of Tourism Degree at the Vancouver Campus.

    The Tourism Management Program is very important to me because I believe that this program can help me find ______. It has been a dream of mine to deal with tourism and get to know all the different kinds of cultures the world has to offer. I love to speak and use languages. I can speak German and English fluently and I can also speak the basics in Spanish and French. The tourism industry has always fascinated me by their its amazing change in the economy that goes on and on.
    I have already had some work experience in the tourism career business. Last summer I worked for Canadream, which is an RV rental company. I enjoyed working there and get got to know people from all over the world. I haven稚 worked directly with the customers, but I knew that I wanted to do something with tourism in my life.
    I am planning on going to a university and graduate from your four-year program to obtain my Bachelor degree in Tourism Management. After earning my degree I want to dopursue a Masters degree and finally thereafter I want to work in the business career. My ultimate goal after the degree and postgraduate work is to ownmanage my own personal business. The reason why I want to study business is to pursue a career that helps me to expand my knowledge about the international market.
    The 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games were a huge win for Vancouver and British Columbia. It was a great tourism attraction for us, but now after the Winter Olympics are over, we have to look ahead and finddevelop a plan to attract even more tourists to come downvisit Vancouver and enjoy the view. We have to be creative to ______

    I am confident that I will like and find even more motivation by takingenrolling in this program. I also think that this career path is the right choice for me because I am very creative, self-directed and I have good communication skills. Studying at your school will help me to reach my full potential and be well prepared for a magnificent career in the tourism industry. Therefore it is my intention to apply for the Bachelor of Tourism Degree (starting next year in Fall) offered at the Capilano University. I will be so grateful if my application is considered in favorably. Thank you for your timeconsideration and I am looking look forward to a favorable replyfrom hearing from you.

    Sincerely Yours,
    A few suggestions.

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