My winter holiday [narative]

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D.Alex

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Jan 9, 2011
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Everybody loves holidays because during our holidays we can relax and have fun.I strongly believe that all students and teaching staff are looking for winter holiday because it is a break for we all. We can have more free time to do what we want during this period of time. We can sleep and stay up as long as we want to and don’t need to worry about getting up late for class the next day morning

.I had always dreamed about going to France and last winter holiday my dream came true.

It was the evening of December 19, when my parents told me that we are going to France for one week in our holiday. I couldn’t believe my ears what I just heard. I asked they again if is not making it up, but they said they already purchased tickets online and made plans. On 21th May we departed Berlin and headed towards our first destination, Mont Blanc mounten. As soon as we reached there after a long journey, I was stunned by the beautiful scenic views that I only saw in pictures. I was totally lost in the scenic views that I forgot to blink my eyes. We stayed in the 5-star hotel near the moutain. Next day we hired a helicopter for a trip to see the sorrounds. It was simply amazing.Last day was fantastic too because I’ve drived a snowmobile and it was really fun.

My holiday was exciting and full of joy. I enjoyed it immensely. I am looking forward to going there again soon.


Can you correct this narative ?
Thank you.
 

snow.white

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Everybody loves holidays because during our holidays we can relax and have fun.I strongly believe that all students and teaching staff are looking for winter holiday because it is a break for[STRIKE] we[/STRIKE] us all. We can have more free time to do what we want during this period of time. We can sleep and stay up as long as we want to and don’t need to worry about getting up late [STRIKE]for class the next day morning[/STRIKE] for the next day morning classes[FONT=&quot]. [/FONT]

I had always dreamed about going to France and last winter holiday my dream came true.

It was the evening of December 19, when my parents told me that we are going to France for one week in our holiday. I couldn’t believe my ears what I just heard. I asked they again if is not making it up, but they said [STRIKE]they [/STRIKE] we have already purchased tickets online and made plans. On [STRIKE]21th[/STRIKE] 21st May we departed Berlin and headed towards our first destination, Mont Blanc [STRIKE]mounten[/STRIKE]mountain(i guess u wrote mountain). As soon as we reached there after a long journey, I was stunned by the beautiful scenic views that I only saw in pictures. I was totally lost in the scenic views that I forgot to blink my eyes. We stayed in the 5-star hotel near the [STRIKE]moutain[/STRIKE] mountain. Next day we hired a helicopter for a trip to see the [STRIKE]sorrounds[/STRIKE]surrounds. It was simply amazing.Last day was fantastic too because I’ve [STRIKE]drived[/STRIKE]drove (use the second form of drive in past tense) a snowmobile and it was really fun.

My holiday was exciting and full of joy. I enjoyed it immensely. I am looking forward to [STRIKE]going there again soon[/STRIKE]. again visit those places soon.


Can you correct this narative ?
Thank you.

Okay i have corrected ur mistakes.. u have to work on ur spell mistakes and ur sentence are bit jumbled up so try to make it clear, u should place the words in sequence in the sentences that will make more sense, I hope i have helped u GOOD Luck and keep practising.
 

Raymott

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Okay I have corrected your mistakes. You have to work on your spelling mistakes and your sentences are bit jumbled up so try to make it clear. You should place the words in sequence in the sentences that will make more sense, I hope I have helped you. GOOD Luck and keep practising.

If you're going to correct other people's English (which you are entitled to do if you feel competent enough), most of us here would suggest that you use proper English in all your writing here.
 

snow.white

Member
Joined
Dec 5, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
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Urdu
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Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
Alright I know it that I used short words, from now on wards I will use properly. We are so used of short hand writing but its ok.
 
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