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    #1

    question about book dedication

    Hi,
    I'm almost finished with writing a book, and I would like to add a dedication to my family.

    Can you correct the followin sentence, please?
    Which one is the best expression?

    1)To Daniela, Loretta and Maurizio: the ones that motivate my life (THE ONES is correct?)

    2)To Daniela, Loretta and Maurizio: the persons that motivate me

    3)To Daniela, Loretta and Maurizio: the people that motivate me

    4)To Daniela, Loretta and Maurizio: the persons that make my world go round

    5) To Daniela, Loretta and Maurizio: the persons that inspire my every single day

    any other correction will be appreciated!

    Thanks!!!
    Vito

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    #2

    Re: question about book dedication

    You need 'who' instead of 'that' whichever one you choose.

    How about 'To. . . who inspire me every single day'.

    Rover

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    #3

    Re: question about book dedication

    Thank you for the suggestion and for the correction. Any other suggestion on how to make the sentence a little more effective, yet personal?

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    #4

    Re: question about book dedication

    I quite like Rover's suggestion. Doesn't that accomplish your goal?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #5

    Re: question about book dedication

    Yes, totally.... !..just fishing for some other possibilities :)

    "to..... : the ones who motivate my life and inspire me every day"

    How does this sound?

    :)

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: question about book dedication

    I don't think people motivate you life. They motivate YOU.

    To ___, ___, and ____, who motivate and inspire me every single day.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #7

    Re: question about book dedication

    Thanks again.... I think I'll stick with this latest sentence :)

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    #8

    Re: question about book dedication

    Hi again,

    I came up with another "more personal" sentence for the dedication, and I would like to know if it makes sense :)

    "to X, Y, Z: the ones who give reasons to my life"...

    sorry for the repeated question :)

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    #9

    Re: question about book dedication

    That's worse than anything you've come up with so far.

    Forget it.

    Rover

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    #10

    Re: question about book dedication

    You received good advice some time ago. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

    In other words, "If what you have does the job well, do not try to tinker with it".

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