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Thread: Lisa vs Tom

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    Offroad's Avatar
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    Default Lisa vs Tom

    Dear teachers...

    Could you please proofread this text below?

    Lisa: I want you to know that I can’t put up with that lady friend of yours, Barb, isn’t it?
    Tom: Yes, her name’s Barbara. She can get a bit cocky and loquacious when she drinks. But we have to give her some extra, she’s been through some tough times since her fiancé, a meth-head, left her and the kids.
    Lisa: I don’t give a damn, please, do me a favour, keep that tart away from me!
    Tom: What? Watch your mouth, you don’t have many friends to start insulting them.
    Lisa: You know what, I’m going to take off, now that I have been completely put out by you, this is no place for me anymore!
    Tom: Yeah, you’d better leave… and put in mind that you have no say on who I should be friends with!
    Thanks in advance

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    JMurray is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Lisa vs Tom

    Hi Offroad. This is in quite slangy English so every editor will have a different opinion, especially about the vocabulary. For example, Lisa's parting words could be expressed in a lot of ways, my version just sounds right to me according to the tone of the conversation. But it might not sound quite right to English speakers of a different background. And of course I don't know the background of Lisa and Tom. A US editor might work better for you but I hope this is of some help.

    Lisa: I want you to know that I can’t stand that lady friend of yours Barb, isn’t it?
    Tom: Yes, her name’s Barbara. She can get a bit cocky and talkative when she drinks. But we have to give her a break, she’s been through some tough times since her meth-head fiancé left her and the kids.
    Lisa: I don’t give a damn, please do me a favour and keep that tart away from me!
    Tom: What? Watch your mouth, you don’t have so many friends you can start insulting them.
    Lisa: You know what, I’m going, you totally piss me off and this is no place for me anymore!
    Tom: Yeah, you’d better leave… and keep in mind (or remember) that you have no say in who I should be friends with!

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