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  1. #1
    ediblegrammar is offline Newbie
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    Default Sponsorhip Letter

    Hi,


    I'm sorry if it's not appropriate to post this in here. But I really need your help, and hopefully others could benefit from this too. I need to send the letter out on Monday actually.

    I just wrote a letter requesting for sponsorhips. I would be grateful if you could check it for me. I know there are grammatical errors somewhere. Or perhaps you have better ideas to make it more interesting and convincing. Sorry I have to hide some details.

    Thank you so much for your help.

    <---Letter starts here--->

    Dear Sir,

    SPONSORSHIP FOR STORYTELLING COMPETITION

    ABC English is a 20-minute radio show that airs on ABC Radio every Saturday at 10:00 a.m. The show consists of 30 episodes where the first episode was aired on 15 January 2011.

    The objective of the show is to inculcate interest and passion in learning English, as well as to raise self-confidence to speak English. Our listeners come from different age groups and various backgrounds, from students to adults.

    As we believe the young ones could benefit most from the show, we are organising a storytelling competition for students. Twelve schools will be invited to take part in the competition where the ones with low achievement in English Language subject will be prioritised. Below are the details of the event:

    Date: XX

    Venue: XX

    Number of Participants: 10 students from various schools

    Target Audience: Students, teachers, parents etc.

    We are currently seeking financial sponsors. Therefore, we are writing to see if you would be interested in sponsoring the event. Please be informed that this is a non profit-making event. Every financial support and sponsorship we receive will be used completely for the event.

    With $500.00 of sponsorship, your company name will be highlighted in announcements (radio, press release and banners), and during the introduction of the event itself. The competition will also be recorded live by ABC Radio and will be aired on ABC English.

    If you need more information, please feel free to contact [Name] at [Phone No.] or [Emel].

    An early reply would be appreciated as we will be making announcements and promotions very soon. We look forward to mentioning your name in all of our announcements and promotions.

    Thank you in advance for your consideration and support.



    Yours Sincerely,

    ..


    <---Letter ends here--->

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Sponsorhip Letter

    Welcome to the board, ediblegrammar.

    That's a very good letter.

    Unless somebody else suggests any improvements you can confidently send it out as it is.

    Rover

  3. #3
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Sponsorhip Letter

    I agree with Rover that it's a very good letter. I have put below, in blue, structures I would prefer, but this is a matter of taste, not correctness. I also spotted one typo, which I have underlined in red.
    Quote Originally Posted by ediblegrammar View Post
    Dear Sir,



    ABC English is a 20-minute radio show that airs on ABC Radio every Saturday at 10:00 a.m. The show consists of 30 episodes (where the first episode) , of which the first / the first of which was aired on 15 January 2011.

    As we believe (the young ones) it is young people who could benefit most from the show, we are organising a story-telling competition for students. Twelve schools will be invited to take part in the competition (where) , in which the ones with low achievement in English Language (subject) will be prioritised. Below are the details of the event:

    [...]

    We are currently seeking financial sponsors. Therefore, we are writing to see if you would be interested in sponsoring the event. Please be informed that this is a non profit-making event. (Every) All financial support and sponsorship we receive will be used (completely) entirely for the event.

    [...]

    If you need more information, please feel free to contact [Name] at [Phone No.] or [Emel]

  4. #4
    ediblegrammar is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Sponsorhip Letter

    Thank you so much Rover & Fivejedjon!
    I'm glad I posted it here, and looks like I'll be usingenglish.com more often. I know I will learn new things here.

    I'm sending the letter tomorrow. Wish me luck!


    Three thumbs up for this awesome forum!

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