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  1. #1
    aneri86 is offline Newbie
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    Default Preparations for an exam

    Hi!


    Since I'm new here, I don't quite know how things work here, but I desperately need your help.

    I'm a student of translation into English and German language and I'm having an exam next week, where I will have to translate a short text from my language into English. And since there is nothing for me to do than practice, it would help a lot if someone could read through one of my translations (native-speakers are especially welcome here:) and check for some grammar mistakes (tenses, use of a/the, prepositions...) and wrong use of collocations. Here I'm attaching you one short translation on an article about floods in Australia:




    The inhabitants are worn out

    In the city of Swan Hill people are prepared for the worst. They are filling bags with sand and setting up flood barriers for the Murray River, which is predicted to flood powerfully in the next ten days. People are already tired and desperate as the floods seem to last forever. The deputy prime minister of Australia Wayne Swan announced that these floods are the costliest natural disaster in the history of Australia.

    Also in the town of Brisbane in Queensland state people are prepared for the worst. The area is still badly hurt from the last floods and now the rushing waters threaten again. People in this town are also filling their bags with sand and setting up flood barriers as they are trying to save what is left from the last floods. Brisbane experienced the worst floods two weeks ago and the consequences are still visible as the town is covered in mud. Furthermore – the rescue workers in Queensland are still looking for the nine people who disappeared in the last floods. Australian soldiers are trying to clean up the riverbed in order to mitigate at least a bit the new wave of floods. They are digging up tons of garbage, even cars, boats and building materials or parts of houses and furniture.

    According to the foreign media, at least 30 people died in the floods that hit Australia. It has been 7 weeks already since Australians started fighting against serious floods.



    Thanks a lot for your help!

    Bye, Irena

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Preparations for an exam

    Welcome to the board, Irena.

    That's a pretty good effort. Here are a few suggested improvements:


    The inhabitants are exhausted.

    In the city of Swan Hill people are prepared for the worst. They are filling bags with sand and setting up flood barriers for the Murray River, which is predicted to flood powerfully in the next ten days. People are already tired and desperate as the floods seem to last forever. The deputy prime minister of Australia, Wayne Swan, announced that these floods are the costliest natural disaster in the history of Australia.

    Also in the town of Brisbane in the state of Queensland, state people are prepared for the worst. The area is still badly damaged from the last floods and now the rushing waters threaten again. People in this town are also filling their bags with sand and setting up flood barriers as they are trying to save what is left from the last inundation. Brisbane experienced the worst floods two weeks ago and the consequences are still visible as the town is covered in mud. Furthermore, the rescue workers in Queensland are still looking for the nine people who disappeared in the last downpours. Australian soldiers are trying to clean up the riverbed in order to mitigate at least in part the new wave of floods. They are digging up tons of garbage, even cars, boats and building materials or parts of houses and furniture.

    According to the foreign media, at least 30 people died in the disaster that hit Australia. It has been seven weeks already since Australians started fighting the catastrophic deluge.
    As a matter of style, I have changed the overused word floods a few times.

  3. #3
    aneri86 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Preparations for an exam

    Thank you for such a quick answer.
    And the tenses are ok? This professor is really into grammar mistakes so I am trying to concentrate on that too.

    I will post some other translations I've made in the past week and if you (or anybody else, of course) have time, I would really appreciate the help:)

    The one on the train accident in Germany:

    Magdeburg – In north Germany a passenger train and a cargo train collided on a late Saturday evening, leaving ten people dead and about 40 injured, 18 serious. The German Press Agency dpa reports that according to the local police the trains collided at full speed causing the passenger train to derail. Dense fog made it difficult for the helicopters to help those who were seriously injured.
    The regional passenger train carrying about 50 passengers was on its way from Magdeburg to Halberstadt when it collided with the cargo train. The passenger train then derailed and ended on the side. Over 150 policemen, firemen and rescue workers came as quickly as possible to the crime scene.
    “The Saturday’s collision of the passenger and cargo train in the region of Saxony-Anhalt caused inconsideration of traffic signs,” reported the State governor Wolfgang Böhmer on today’s press conference. In the head-on train collision 10 people died, 18 passengers have been seriously and 25 slightly injured.
    “We found out that a stop sign has been overlooked. In a normal situation two trains cannot come across one another in such way,” said Böhmer for the French Press Agency AFP. What he did not mention was who overlooked the sign – the engineer of the passenger or cargo train.
    According to the German Press Agency dpa, the Federal police official Ralph Krüger said that the causes for the accident are still being investigated. He also did not want to reveal any detailed information on a possible technical or human error.
    German Press Agency reports that most of the passengers killed in the accident are yet to be identified. According to the police only two dead have already been identified. Several injured are still in a critical condition.
    In Germany there were already a couple of train accidents ending tragically in the last few years. In 2006 twenty-three people died in a train accident near Lathen in the northeast and ten were injured in a collision of a test train Transrapid with a control vehicle. In 2003 six people died and 25 were injured in a head-on collision of two trains near Schrozberg.


    The one on the USA support to Egypt:

    The USA support a peaceful transition of power in Egypt, said Hillary Clinton. The world leaders ask Hosni Mubarak to avoid violence and to initiate the program of the necessary reforms.
    “We wish for a peaceful transition, for there would be no one to fill the emptiness, for there would be no emptiness and a well thought plan would exist. A plan which would truly establish democracy / a democratic government to power. We also do not want to take over the leadership, which would lead to the repression and to the end of the effort of the Egyptians instead of democracy,” said the American state secretary. “What we want is a free and fair election and we hope for this to be a result of the present situation,” added Clinton, but did not want to answer the question whether the Mubarak's government is stable or not.
    Egyptian army is not violent to the peaceful protesters, therefore, there was no discussion as of this time about cutting off any aid to Egypt, said Clinton. She added that the appointment of the Vice President Omar Suleiman is “just the beginning” of a long list of reforms that are necessary for Egypt.
    The international community is extremely worried about the condition in Egypt. President of the USA Barack Obama consulted with the security service about this matter on Saturday. The White House reported after the meeting that it will still concentrate on the “appeals to the restraint, the support of the fundamental rights and the support of the concrete steps that lead to a political reform”.
    A similar appeal also came from the leaders of Great Britain, Germany and France. “We ask Mubarak to avoid the use of violence against the unarmed civilians at any cost and we ask the protesters to enforce their rights in a peaceful way,” wrote British Prime Minister David Cameron, German chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy in their joint statement.
    Also Israel responded to the occurrences in Egypt. Prime Minister Netanyahu hopes to keep a peaceful bond with Egypt also in the future and remains vigilant to all that is happening in the neighboring country.


    And I think that's enough for now.

    So, if anybody has time, please just take a quick scan for any grammar or other mistake, it would help a lot.

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