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  1. #1
    fredericoskw is offline Newbie
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    Question Could you correct my cv, please?

    Hello, could you please check my cover letter. I would be very grateful. Thanks

    ===============================================

    Profile

    I have shown myself to be self-motivated, committed and determined in achieving my goals. I have also demonstrated negotiating and organizing skills, a sense of responsibility and my capacity to work hard under pressure. I am able to relate to a wide range of people, as proven by my varied work experiences.

    Education

    2008-2012 Escola Politécnica - USP
    Graduating in Industrial Engineering – graduation expected in december/2012.

    2005-2007 Colégio Santa Cruz
    High School.

    Professional Experience

    2011 Banco BBM
    Summer Job in the Macroeconomic Research Department of Banco BBM during the period of January/2011 to February/2011.
    • Constructed a panel of data on 25 countries, covering the main macroeconomic aggregates and financial indicators.
    • Developed an econometric model to determine the equilibrium interest rate.

    2010-2011 Undergraduate research project: Life Cycle Assessment of Sustainable Products (in development).
    PIBITI/CNPq/USP grant holder. Project directed by Dr. Marly Monteiro, of the Production Engineering Department of Escola Politécnica - USP.


    2009-2010 Big Bear Mountain
    Participated in the Work&Travel USA program during the period of December/2009 to March/2010. Worked as Rental Attendant in Bear Mountain ski resort, Califórnia - EUA.


    2008-2009 Poli Júnior
    Worked with consultancy projects and events as manager at Poli Júnior, junior enterprise of Escola Politécnica - USP.
    • Founded the newspaper Projeção:
    o Guided a seven-person team.
    o Conducted meetings and negotiations.
    • Member of the organizing team of the recruiting fair Workshop Integrativo Poli Jr.
    • Assisted in two projects for external clients.
    • Member of the Financial Team.


    Other Courses and Awards

    2010-2012 Scholarship for academic excellence by GE Foundation “Scholar-Leaders Program 2010”.

    Leadership development program to complement the student’s academic curriculum.

    2010 Professional Development Program (12 hours) – Outward Bound Brasil – São Paulo, July/2010.

    2010 Award for best project – Information Systems I (PRO2511) course - São Paulo, June/2010.

    2009 Desafio Sebrae 2009 (passed to the state semi-final) – Sebrae – São Paulo, May/2009.

    Languages

    Portuguese: Mother Tongue.
    English: Fluent (currently studying).
    • TOEFL iBT: 107/120 - Educational Testing Service.
    French: Intermediate (currently studying).
    • DELF/ A3 - French Ministry of Education.

    Computer Skills

    Microsoft Office Package: advanced.
    Visual Basic for Applications programming: advanced.
    WEB programming: advanced.
    Graphic editing: intermediate.

    Activities and Interests

    Volunteer at Um Teto para Meu País (NGO).
    XXX National Meeting of Production Engineering (ENEGEP) – São Carlos, October/2010.
    Participation in long-distance swimming and running competitions.
    Playing Keyboard.
    Cookery.

    Thank you so much!

  2. #2
    bspkumar is offline Member
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    Re: Could you correct my cv, please?

    Hi Fredericoskw,

    Your cover letter is not good. It is like a resume rather than a cover letter. It may sound harsh but, I would like to help you. The cover letter should be brief.

    Write the cover letter in the following way:

    Paragraph 1: mention why are you writing cover letter
    Paragraph 2: brief about your education, skills, experience which match
    the job requirement.
    Paragraph3: mention that you would like to attend the interview....etc

    Do not mention your interests, hobbies, extra curricular activities in a cover letter. Create a resume with detailed information about your profile. Enclose that resume with the cover letter. Do not put all the information in cover letter.

    Refer the link below to know tips on writing a cover letter and to find sample cover letters.

    Cover letters: types and samples | Career Services | Virginia Tech

  3. #3
    fredericoskw is offline Newbie
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    Re: Could you correct my cv, please?

    I'm sorry, that was my résumé (CV), it's not my cover letter. Any mistakes for a résumé?

  4. #4
    bspkumar is offline Member
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    Re: Could you correct my cv, please?

    Your resume is good, Fredericoskw.

    I would suggest you to replace "Profile" section in your resume with "Objective". Here "Objective" tells what are your career goals and which type of job you are looking for. Recruiters go through many resumes and they do not spend much time on reading entire resume in general. So, "Objective" tells them what is the resume is about in 3-4 lines and it would be comfortable for them.

    You can find sample "objective" below:

    Objective: Looking for a Network Engineer position in a IT company where I can utilize and expand my skill set and contribute to the growth of the company.


    Then you can add other details that you have mentioned: "I have shown myself to be self-motivated, committed and determined in achieving my goals. I have also demonstrated negotiating and organizing skills, a sense of responsibility and my capacity to work hard under pressure. I am able to relate to a wide range of people, as proven by my varied work experiences."
    Last edited by bspkumar; 11-Mar-2011 at 05:42.

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