informal email, would you correct it please ?

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eli88

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Uruguay
Current Location
Uruguay
Hello everybody!! I'm a new member and I am just about to take the FCE and I have many problems with the writing part, so I would like to ask you help! Would you read this informal email and correct it please ? Thank you!


This is the task:

You recently received an email from your English-speaking friend, Pat, inviting you to stay and asking you to a special party.



Hi Pat,

It was great to hear from you. I’m so excited about spending time with you during the summer that I can't wait anymore.

July is perfect! My parents will be in Italy enjoying a second honney moon so it’s great I’ll have the opportunity to be there with you while they’re out of the country.

About Tim’s birthday, I’ve been thinking what kind of present I can give him, and I want your opinion so what do you think about giving him a t-shirt from my country?

By the way, sorry but I won’t be able to go camping with you, because I am alergic and the doctors advice me that I shouldn’t do things like that.
And finally but not less important, I’d really like to know if we can go to a music concert which will be while I am there.

I’m looking forward to seeing you soon.

Best wishes,

Mary
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hello everybody!! I'm a new member and I am just about to take the FCE and I have many problems with the writing part, so I would like to ask you help! Would you read this informal email and correct it please ? Thank you!


This is the task:

You recently received an email from your English-speaking friend, Pat, inviting you to stay and asking you to a special party.



Hi Pat,

It was great to hear from you. I’m so excited about spending time with you during the summer [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE]and I can't wait. [STRIKE]anymore[/STRIKE].

July is perfect! My parents will be in Italy enjoying a second honeymoon so it’s great. I’ll have the opportunity to be there with you while they’re out of the country.

About Tim’s birthday, I’ve been thinking what kind of present I can give him, and I want your opinion so what do you think about giving him a t-shirt from my country?

By the way, sorry, but I won’t be able to go camping with you, because I am alergic (alergic to what?) and the doctors [STRIKE]advice[/STRIKE] have advised me that I shouldn’t do things like that.
And finally, but no[STRIKE]t[/STRIKE] less important, I’d really like to know if we can go to a music concert [STRIKE]which will be [/STRIKE]if there are any while I am there.

I’m looking forward to seeing you soon.

Best wishes,

Mary

A few suggestions.
 

eli88

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Uruguay
Current Location
Uruguay
Thank you !! :):)
 
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