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  1. #1
    boozl is offline Junior Member
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    Default Could a teacher please proof read for me. It seems too long winded

    Increasing attendances?

    I believe our football club would love to be able to do something to boost both attendances and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket for just one game would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be seeing these supporters prepared to pay the full cost of a ticket on their return to watch a game that they would have not even contemplated attending had they not took the offer up in the first place.

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Could a teacher please proof read for me. It seems too long winded

    It would be OK, Boozl, if you were to change took to taken.

    Rover

  3. #3
    susiedqq is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Could a teacher please proof read for me. It seems too long winded

    Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any one game promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be to see these supporters pay full cost of a ticket, and, in return, watch a game they would have not even contemplated attending had they not taken the offer in the first place.

    I have made grammatical suggestions, but I have NO IDEA what you are trying to say!!


  4. #4
    boozl is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Could a teacher please proof read for me. It seems too long winded

    Quote Originally Posted by susiedqq View Post
    Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any one game promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be to see these supporters pay full cost of a ticket, and, in return, watch a game they would have not even contemplated attending had they not taken the offer in the first place.

    I have made grammatical suggestions, but I have NO IDEA what you are trying to say!!
    Asking this question on a forum;

    Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done?


    I have NO IDEA as to what the answer is. The hope being that another forum member can tell me.

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