Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Gyelim is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Korean
      • Home Country:
      • South Korea
      • Current Location:
      • South Korea
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default checking my sentence grammar

    Dear MJ, .
    How is your business trip going on?
    I知 writing to get your approval for product training courses in 2011. We値l cover new products in this class.
    l Objectives
     - To be better prepared to sell our products
     - To improve their sales skills and present health information related to our products.

    Please contact me if you have any questions.
    Thank you.

    Yours sincerely,
    Carrie, Lee

  2. #2
    TeacherHeather's Avatar
    TeacherHeather is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    1
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: checking my sentence grammar

    Hi there! It's late at night, but I am new to the forum and thought I could help you out a little bit!

    It is mostly properly written. There are a few errors.

    1. Dear MJ (if MJ is someone's initials, it should be punctuated as M.J.) Otherwise, you have a comma and a period after "Dear MJ." All you need is a comma unless this is a formal letter to a superior or a stranger, such as a boss or a person who interviewed you for a job. If it is a formal letter, it's best to follow your greeting with a colon and not a comma.

    2. Regarding, "How is your business trip going on?" You don't need to say "going on" because "going" is already in present continuous form. Since the person's business trip is in process, it's simply said as, "How is your business trip going?" Similarly, this rule applies to the following sentences, as long as both the school year and the project are still continuing at the time the sentence is written. "How is your school year going?" or "How is your project going?"

    3. When you write, "To improve their sales skills..." you need to be more clear to whom you're referring by using the pronoun "their." I imagine "their" refers to sales representatives, but because you haven't mentioned sales representatives before, using a pronoun without an antecedent is very confusing for the reader.

    4. "Sincerely," is considered to be an appropriate closing at the end of a letter. It's no longer necessary to say "Sincerely yours," or "Yours sincerely."

    5. Your closing, thus, should look like this:

    Sincerely,

    Carrie Lee

    (I am not sure why you placed a comma in between Carrie and Lee?)

    I hope this helps!

    Heather

  3. #3
    Gyelim is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Korean
      • Home Country:
      • South Korea
      • Current Location:
      • South Korea
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: checking my sentence grammar

    I really appreciate you taking care of this so quickly.

    Sleep tight.

Similar Threads

  1. checking grammar
    By ostap77 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 21-Nov-2010, 02:38
  2. checking grammar
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 13-Dec-2009, 22:08
  3. checking grammar
    By Paul T in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 17-Mar-2009, 22:55
  4. Grammar checking
    By YOJ in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 20-Sep-2007, 20:30
  5. grammar checking
    By YOJ in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-Aug-2007, 11:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Hotchalk