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    #1

    TOEFL essay attempt - please give advices

    Hello :) I`m Borislav from Sofia and here`s my second attempt ever to write something in English, what would have to be an essay for the TOEFL test. I picked a random topic and here it is:

    BUSINESS SHOULD HIRE EMPLOYEES FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

    It is my belief that business should not be burdened with the task of employing people for lifetime. This practice could be very harmful, because a given company should be always able to replace its existing staff with new one in order to keep evolving and in pace with time`s demands.

    First, people may change in the course of time and render not useful services for their employers. It is very common among our generation, when people make general turns in their careers at any age, even close to retirement. So in that situation a great investment in one particular person could turn to be a lose.

    Furthermore, business` requirements may increase over time and its personal could not be able to handle them. In this particular case the most logical thing to do is to replace the redundant staff with new, more qualified and educated. After all, work is work and its main purpose is profit, so it has to be kept operating well.

    But what is most important is that it is very hard to tell if a person should be worth if given the chance for working until retirement in any corporation. It is difficult to understand that even in years, so it is not clever to bound with such time frames. It is a great responsibility and also could be a knife with two blades, if that person changes his priorities and decide to quit.

    From all that has been said, one could elicit that employing people for a lifetime is not something everyone could deal with, so the business` should not be bound with such responsibilities, because that would hinder its development.

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    #2

    Re: TOEFL essay attempt - please give advices

    Overall, a good text.

    Quote Originally Posted by Junkhead View Post

    It is my belief that business should not be burdened with the task of employing people for a lifetime. This practice could be very harmful, because a given company should be always able to replace its existing staff with new one in order to keep evolving and in pace with time`s demands.

    First, people may change in the course of time and render not useful services for their employers. It is very common among our generation, when people make general turns in their careers at any age, even close to retirement. So in that situation a great investment in one particular person could turn to be a lose.

    Furthermore, business` requirements may increase over time and its personal personnel could not be able to handle them. In this particular case, the most logical thing to do is to replace the redundant staff with new, more qualified and educated. After all, work is work and its main purpose is profit, so it has to be kept operating well.

    But what is most important is that it is very hard to tell if a person should be worth if given the chance for working until retirement in any corporation. It is difficult to understand that even in years, so it is not clever to bound to be bound with such time frames. It is a great responsibility and also could be a knife with two blades, if that person changes his priorities and decide decides to quit.

    From all that has been said, one could elicit that employing people for a lifetime is not something everyone could deal with, so the business` should not be bound with such responsibilities, because that would hinder its development.

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