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  1. #1
    dilodi83 is offline Senior Member
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    Does this sentence sound good?

    Is this sentence correct?



    ...such as in the story of the two brothers Hewald who were killed by the Pagans and, after their deaths, a brilliant light shined in the sky in the place where their bodies passed.

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Does this sentence sound good?

    Quote Originally Posted by dilodi83 View Post
    Is this sentence correct?



    ...such as in the story of the two brothers Hewald who were killed by the Pagans and, after their deaths, a brilliant light shined in the sky in the place where their bodies passed.
    It's not a sentence.
    As a series of clauses, this would be better:
    ...such as in the story of the two brothers Hewald who were killed by the Pagans, in which, after their deaths, a brilliant light shined in the sky in the place where their bodies passed.
    'Who' refers to brothers, and 'in which' refers to 'story'.

  3. #3
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Does this sentence sound good?

    Quote Originally Posted by dilodi83 View Post
    a brilliant light shined in the sky
    A light shone in the sky.
    I shined my shoes.

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