[Cover Letter] Proofreading cover letter

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Ellena

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Joined
Oct 24, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Ukraine
Current Location
Ukraine
Please, help me proofread this cover letter! I'm really waiting for your comments! Thank you in advance!

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in reply to your advertisement in “Expert” magazine for general part-time work in your company “Donbass Investment and Development Company”
I am a 19-year-old Ukrainian student from Makeevka. At present I am studying in Harkiv National Technical University in economic faculty. I was taken part in some international business programs. Also I have studied English for 10 years.
I am interested in economy very much. I am also a member of the financial club. I want to work in your company because I am interested in construction from an economic point of view. I haven’t got work experience, but I wish I could realize my potential.
I would like to work in afternoons and evenings because in the morning I have classes in the university.
I look forward to hearing from you.
 
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billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
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English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Please, help me proofread this cover letter! I'm really waiting for your comments! Thank you in advance!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in reply to your advertisement in “Expert” magazine for general part-time work in your company “Donbass Investment and Development Company”

I am a 19-year-old Ukrainian student from Makeevka. At present I am studying in Harkiv National Technical University in economic faculty (not familiar with this term, but if understood at the university, OK) . I [STRIKE]was taken part[/STRIKE]have been involved in [STRIKE]some[/STRIKE]several international business programs. Also, I have studied English for 10 years.

I am interested in [STRIKE]economy[/STRIKE] economics very much. I am also a member of the financial club. I [STRIKE]want [/STRIKE]would like to work in your company because I am interested in construction from an economic point of view. [STRIKE]I haven’t got work experience, but I wish I could realize my potential. [/STRIKE]I would like to work in your company not only to gain the experience but also to contribute to the company's mission and objectives. I [STRIKE]would like to work in [/STRIKE] [STRIKE][STRIKE]because in the morning [/STRIKE][/STRIKE]I have classes at the university mornings but I am available afternoons and evenings.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your consideration.

Nice work. A few suggestions. Good luck.
 
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Ellena

Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Ukraine
Current Location
Ukraine
Thanks a lot, billmcd!!!!! You have really made my day so far!!!:)
 
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