Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    idealist is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    9
    Post Thanks / Like

    Post topic:traffic jam-- so appreciate for your correction and suggestion

    I am preparing my IELTS test by now, and always write essays about the topic from my workbook. But, there is no one tell me what mistakes I have and I am worried about .I am so glad to find here and thank you at first!:)

    task:
    traffic jams are now a major problem in most cities.However ,it seems that people are not give up their cars and use other forms of transport.discuss the reasons for these two situations and suggest how the situaion might be improved or resolved.

    my essays:
    Traffic jams are a chronic major problems in most cities,especially in more developing cities relatively.Meawhile, the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop.Though I am not a specialist of traffic, still want to illustrate some analysis and give some pesonal sugguestions.

    At first,The problems were caused by the traffic jams should be listed here .It is easy to image the problems ,such as the air pollution,time waste,more fuel cost,even more accidents.However, all of those problems can't prevent most of the people from chosing cars as the transport when they go out.In fact,there are even more families prepare to puchase a car in order to be more convenient.Except for convenience there are other three main reason I can figure out that are freedom,private spaces,status symbol.
    Driving own car to go anywhere freely is apparently better than taking bus,especially ,taking a crowed bus in a traffic jam.In contrast,staying in own car enjoy private and spare space is more comfortable even in the same traffic.The last reason of status symbol seems less important,but for some certain people,it is the most significant reason.
    Then, do we have some effective resolutions to resovle or ease the traffic jams?In my opinion,in a short-term, the traffic jams can not be resolved comletely,but could be eased through advanced techonology,effective policy,traffic education.The goverment should implement some feasibility policies ,operate scientific traffic system, study more creative and advanced facilities and transports.

  2. #2
    luschen is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    191
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: topic:traffic jam-- so appreciate for your correction and suggestion

    I am not a teacher, but I am happy to look over your essay and attempt to correct some of your errors. By the way, [sp] means you have misspelled a word.



    task: [Capitalize all headings]
    traffic [Capitalize]jams are now a major problem in most cities.However ,it seems that people are not givegiving up their cars and use[using] other forms of transport.discuss [cap] the reasons for these two situations [this is one situation, not two] and suggest how the situaion[it] might be improved or resolved.

    my essays:
    Traffic jams are a chronic major problems[note: traffic jams cause many problems, but traffic jams in general are one problem] in most cities,especially in more [rapidly] developing cities relatively.Meawhile[sp], the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop.Though I am not a [traffic] specialist of traffic, [I] still want to illustrate[provide] some analysis and give some pesonal[sp] sugguestions[sp].

    At first[use at first when comparing how something used to be versus how it is now. In this case you could use "To begin"],The problems were caused by the traffic jams should be listed here .It is easy to image the[these] problems ,such as the air pollution, [wasted] time waste,more fuel cost[s], [and] even more accidents.However, all of those problems can't[won't] prevent most of the people from chosing[sp] cars as the[their] transport[means of transportation] when they go out.In fact,there are even more families prepare[ing] to puchase[sp] a car in order to be more convenient[for its increase convenience].Except for[In addition to] convenience there are other three main reason I can figure out that are freedom,private spaces,status symbol.[three other reasons for the popularity of cars are freedom, privacy, and the status of owning your own automobile.]
    Driving [your] own car to go anywhere freely is apparently better than taking [the or a] bus,[new sentence]especially ,taking a crowed bus in a traffic jam.In contrast,staying in [your] own car enjoy[ing] private[privacy] and [less crowding] is more comfortable even in the same traffic.The last[final] reason of status symbol[increased status] seems less important,but for some certain[use some or certain, not both] people,it is the most significant reason.
    Then, do we have some effective resolutions[solutions] to resovle[solve] or ease the traffic jams?In my opinion,in a[the] short-term, the traffic jams can not be resolved comletely[sp],but could be eased through advanced techonology,effective policy,[and]traffic education.The goverment should implement some feasibility policies[studies] ,operate [a] scientific traffic system, [and] study more creative and advanced facilities and transports[transportation systems].[/QUOTE]

  3. #3
    idealist is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    9
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: topic:traffic jam-- so appreciate for your correction and suggestion

    Quote Originally Posted by luschen View Post
    I am not a teacher, but I am happy to look over your essay and attempt to correct some of your errors. By the way, [sp] means you have misspelled a word.



    task: [Capitalize all headings]
    traffic [Capitalize]jams are now a major problem in most cities.However ,it seems that people are not givegiving up their cars and use[using] other forms of transport.discuss [cap] the reasons for these two situations [this is one situation, not two] and suggest how the situaion[it] might be improved or resolved.

    my essays:
    Traffic jams are a chronic major problems[note: traffic jams cause many problems, but traffic jams in general are one problem] in most cities,especially in more [rapidly] developing cities relatively.Meawhile[sp], the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop.Though I am not a [traffic] specialist of traffic, [I] still want to illustrate[provide] some analysis and give some pesonal[sp] sugguestions[sp].

    At first[use at first when comparing how something used to be versus how it is now. In this case you could use "To begin"],The problems were caused by the traffic jams should be listed here .It is easy to image the[these] problems ,such as the air pollution, [wasted] time waste,more fuel cost[s], [and] even more accidents.However, all of those problems can't[won't] prevent most of the people from chosing[sp] cars as the[their] transport[means of transportation] when they go out.In fact,there are even more families prepare[ing] to puchase[sp] a car in order to be more convenient[for its increase convenience].Except for[In addition to] convenience there are other three main reason I can figure out that are freedom,private spaces,status symbol.[three other reasons for the popularity of cars are freedom, privacy, and the status of owning your own automobile.]
    Driving [your] own car to go anywhere freely is apparently better than taking [the or a] bus,[new sentence]especially ,taking a crowed bus in a traffic jam.In contrast,staying in [your] own car enjoy[ing] private[privacy] and [less crowding] is more comfortable even in the same traffic.The last[final] reason of status symbol[increased status] seems less important,but for some certain[use some or certain, not both] people,it is the most significant reason.
    Then, do we have some effective resolutions[solutions] to resovle[solve] or ease the traffic jams?In my opinion,in a[the] short-term, the traffic jams can not be resolved comletely[sp],but could be eased through advanced techonology,effective policy,[and]traffic education.The goverment should implement some feasibility policies[studies] ,operate [a] scientific traffic system, [and] study more creative and advanced facilities and transports[transportation systems].
    [/QUOTE]


    hi~~ luschen!
    I am so appreciate your help very much, while I am ashamed for my so many mistakes ....
    And finally, i knew why nobody replied my post for a long time....Too many mistakes should be corrected , of course, that's really need much patience .
    Thank you again, you not just read it over ,but also detailed all my mistakes and gave the reasons clearly. They really help me a lot!

    hmmm, there is a place you amended which made me confused :
    'there are even more families prepareing to purchase a car for its increase convenience.'
    ----its increase convenience( do you want to express 'its increasing convenience' ? 'increase 'and 'convenience 'are both noun, can they be used by this way (parallel)? )

    I know I am ignorant.... please forgive me~~ thank you !

  4. #4
    luschen is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    191
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: topic:traffic jam-- so appreciate for your correction and suggestion

    Thank you for your kind words - Please don't be too hard on yourself. Even with the errors I was still able to understand what you were trying to communicate with your essay.

    And you caught one of my mistakes! I meant to say "increased convenience" increase is usually a verb (although sometimes a noun - verb:" I increased my effort" noun: "We saw an increase in production", but in this case it is used as an adjective meaning the convenience has gotten larger. I could also have said "purchased a car for its greater convenience"

Similar Threads

  1. [General] Correction, Any suggestion, Please!
    By Raid050 in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29-Mar-2009, 08:46
  2. Meanings: congestion and traffic jam
    By Tvita in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 20-Feb-2008, 10:50
  3. Traffic jam or snarl-up?
    By Anna Xpomoba in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-May-2006, 08:59
  4. Any correction or suggestion, please
    By Abusaad in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-Mar-2005, 07:10
  5. A Model Teacher--Correction and suggestion
    By Joe in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 27-Feb-2004, 11:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •