Ever Student
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2008
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Topic
"If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer." (300-350 words)
would you Please edit the passage below? If I overused or use unnecessary words or sentences, please note it to me.
To me, the most important thing should be improved in my country is the educational system. Each individual of the time being is required to be educated so education has a lion share even in my country. For instance, in my experience as a teacher, children need interact with their teachers as well as peers. As long as their teachers do not know the way of interaction, the children won't how to interact with other people. In my country, this system has been administered by the teacher-based education in which teacher's authority plays an important role and it may not permit students to have creativity or critical thinking. Not engaging in a group(s), being taught antiquated, repetitive school books, not being motivated to study and research facts, the students loose their confidence to continue in the goal-oriental way. In my opinion, first of all the teachers should take specific courses of the ways of interaction with students. They learn how to change their rote methods and placed them with joy activities, vivid and more friendly creative methods. These help not only the teachers but also the students make a good atmosphere both in the classroom and outside. The students need to know how their teacher support them to create a small society with less anxiety and much more confidence.
The other way of improving the present educational system is strengthening the relationships between every individual with their teachers, peers and books. Unfortunately, teachers here do not take their time to know each student and compare every one with themselves and not with their peers. When I evaluated my students, I recognized every student can make their progress by themselves. The students in my class understand their responsibilities and improve their weaknesses by themselves. They know how their teachers understand them and expect from their capabilities. As a result, the students try to solve the present problem alone and feel satisfaction of themselves. As far as the teacher help the students understand their weak and strong points with regard to their abilities, the students make themselves improve the tough situation where they are. If teachers know their students capacity, they can count on the creativity of their students.
Educational system is required a huge change in my country. The interaction based on teacher-student and student-student is a way of improving the education. Paying attention to every student is another one. Our country would meet creative, assiduous, goal-oriented and more responsible students in different trends, if the education was potentially changed positively and deeply.
"If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer." (300-350 words)
would you Please edit the passage below? If I overused or use unnecessary words or sentences, please note it to me.
To me, the most important thing should be improved in my country is the educational system. Each individual of the time being is required to be educated so education has a lion share even in my country. For instance, in my experience as a teacher, children need interact with their teachers as well as peers. As long as their teachers do not know the way of interaction, the children won't how to interact with other people. In my country, this system has been administered by the teacher-based education in which teacher's authority plays an important role and it may not permit students to have creativity or critical thinking. Not engaging in a group(s), being taught antiquated, repetitive school books, not being motivated to study and research facts, the students loose their confidence to continue in the goal-oriental way. In my opinion, first of all the teachers should take specific courses of the ways of interaction with students. They learn how to change their rote methods and placed them with joy activities, vivid and more friendly creative methods. These help not only the teachers but also the students make a good atmosphere both in the classroom and outside. The students need to know how their teacher support them to create a small society with less anxiety and much more confidence.
The other way of improving the present educational system is strengthening the relationships between every individual with their teachers, peers and books. Unfortunately, teachers here do not take their time to know each student and compare every one with themselves and not with their peers. When I evaluated my students, I recognized every student can make their progress by themselves. The students in my class understand their responsibilities and improve their weaknesses by themselves. They know how their teachers understand them and expect from their capabilities. As a result, the students try to solve the present problem alone and feel satisfaction of themselves. As far as the teacher help the students understand their weak and strong points with regard to their abilities, the students make themselves improve the tough situation where they are. If teachers know their students capacity, they can count on the creativity of their students.
Educational system is required a huge change in my country. The interaction based on teacher-student and student-student is a way of improving the education. Paying attention to every student is another one. Our country would meet creative, assiduous, goal-oriented and more responsible students in different trends, if the education was potentially changed positively and deeply.
