Another complaint letter, thanks for any feedback

Status
Not open for further replies.

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
Subject:
Complanit about a trip that went worng.

Dear Sir, Madam

I am writing to complain about the travel which I was provided by your tour company. I am deeply disappointed with
the poor service of people that work at your office.

First of all the price which I paid for the tour was much higher that the one that we have agreed on two months
ago. As far as I know decieving somebody by not informing him about additional costs, like departure tax etc. is
illegal.

Secondly it is outraging that your company was unable to arrange a pick up service from the airport to the hotel.
I was forced to do it myslef and considering the fact that at the airport there was nobody who could speak my
language, this was very stresfull situation for me.

If these were not enough at the hotel they did not have the room that I specificly asked for. Your company did not
even make an effort to check if there are any single rooms avialable. In the end I agreed on staying in a double
room with additional person. Although the room had a seeview there was no private bathroom.

I am expecting that you inform all your workers about my problems so that no othet castomer of yours will have to
face similiar situation. I am hoping that your company will refound at least a part of the cost of my tour.
A discount on future trips is also optional.

I am looking forward to hearing from you,

Yours faithfully,
Andrew
 

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
This appears to be a homework assignment. If you have any questions about your mistakes after it has been returned to you, we may be able to help. We do not, however, help with homework assignments before they have been submitted. Your teacher wants to know what you can do, not what we can.
 

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
This is not a homework assignment. I am thinking about taking FCE exam and would like to know how much work I need to put in preparing to writing part as I think that I am not to good at it.

I am looking for some FCE-like assignment in internet and then write on that subject. Though I have nobody around me to check it for mistakes and that is why I post it here.
 

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
This is not a homework assignment. I am thinking about taking FCE exam and would like to know how much work I need to put in preparing to writing part as I think that I am not to good at it.
Fine.

Unfortunately, I am not particularly good at this type of work, so I will leave it to others. I will check back in a day or so; if nobody else has responded, I will do the best I can.
 

anishjp

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Malayalam
Home Country
India
Current Location
South Africa
Subject:
Complanit about a trip that went worng.

Dear Sir, Madam

I [STRIKE]am writing to complain[/STRIKE] have a complaint about the travel which was provided to me by your tour company. I am deeply disappointed with the poor service of the people [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] who works at your office.

First of all, the price which I paid for the tour was much higher [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE]than the one that we [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had agreed [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] two months ago. As far as I know, decieving somebody by not informing him about the additional costs, like departure tax etc. is
illegal.

Secondly it is outraging that your company was unable to arrange a pick up service from the airport to the hotel.
I was forced to [STRIKE]do it[/STRIKE] hire a taxi by myself, considering the fact that at the airport there was nobody who could speak my language, this was a very stresfull situation for me.

If these were not enough at the hotel they did not have the room that I specifically asked for. Your company did not
even make an effort to check if there [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] were any single rooms available. In the end, I agreed on staying in a double room with an additional person. Although the room had a seeview there was no private bathroom.

I [STRIKE]am[/STRIKE] expect[STRIKE]ing that[/STRIKE] you to inform all your workers about [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] the problems I have experienced so that no other customer [STRIKE]of yours[/STRIKE] will have to face a similiar situation. I [STRIKE]am hoping[/STRIKE] hope that your company will refund at least a part of the cost of my tour.
A discount on future trip is also optional.

I [STRIKE]am looking[/STRIKE] look forward to hearing from you,

Yours faithfully,
Andrew

<not a teacher>
 
Last edited:

luschen

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hi, anishjp did a great job but missed a few minor errors:

Originally Posted by tong-pu
Subject:
Complanit [sp] about a trip that went worng[sp].

Dear Sir, Madam

I [am writing to complain] [
have a complaint - I think either one of these phrases is fine] about the travel which was provided to me by your tour company. I am deeply disappointed with the poor service of the people [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] who [STRIKE]works[/STRIKE][work] at your office.

First of all, the price which I paid for the tour was much higher
[STRIKE]that[/STRIKE]than the one that we [STRIKE]have [/STRIKE]had agreed [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] [on or to] two months ago. As far as I know, decieving [sp] somebody by not informing him about the additional costs, like departure tax[,] etc. is
illegal.

Secondly[,] it is [STRIKE]outraging[/STRIKE][outrageous] that your company was unable to arrange a pick up service from the airport to the hotel.
I was forced
to [STRIKE]do it[/STRIKE] hire a taxi by myself[STRIKE],[/STRIKE][.] considering the fact that at the airport there was nobody who could speak my language, this was a very stresfull[sp] situation for me.

If [STRIKE]these were[/STRIKE][this was] not enough[,] at the hotel they did not have the room that I specifically asked for. Your company did not
even make an effort to check if there are were any single rooms available. In the end, I agreed on staying [this may be correct, but "agreed to stay" would be better]in a double room with an additional person. Although the room had a seeview[sp] there was no private bathroom.

I
[STRIKE]am [/STRIKE] expect[STRIKE]ing that [/STRIKE]you to inform all your workers about [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] the problems I have experienced so that no other customer of yours will have to face a similiar[sp] situation. I [STRIKE]am hoping[/STRIKE] hope that your company will refund at least a part of the cost of my tour.
A discount on [a] future trip is also [STRIKE]optional[/STRIKE][a possibility].

I am looking look forward to hearing from you,

Yours faithfully,
Andrew
 
Last edited:

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
Is it me or this one is little better than the previous one.
Thanks a lot. I appreciate your feedback a lot.
I will post some letters also today. Hopefully you will find some time to take a look at it.
 

luschen

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I thought they were both pretty good - I do not know how strictly they grade the FCE exam you plan to take.
 

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
I do not know how strict they are either so I will practice a little bit more. Until thursday. I need to work on that spelling but it is hard as normally I do not see this kind of mistakes even if know the correct spelling and even if I read the paper one more time.
 

luschen

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
When I type my comments into the message box, my misspelled words are underlined in red - if I right click my mouse it gives me the correct spelling - maybe you can use this feature to check your work. See, I just misspelled the word misspelled, I will fix it!
 

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
Sounds easy but I am working on polish software and it always tries to correct me to polish - it means that whole text is highlighted. :)

I've just finished another one. I am trying to make it little shorte because for FCE you need 120-180 words. My previous works were waaaay to long.
Also shorter sentences reduce possibility of making some grammar mistakes. I am also trying to do some selftaughting.


- You need a job for three months in the summer, and you have seen an advertisement in a newspaper about a temporary job as a tourist guide in your town or city. Write a letter applying for the post.

Dear Sir/Madame,


Referring to your advertisement in The Flock Guardian, published on 7th of April I would like to apply for
a position as a turist guide at your tour company.

I am 21-years-old polish exchange student of Faculty of Turism on Flock University. This year I will finish my
third year of study and during my summer brake I would like to start a part time job in your company.
Being employed at your company is very important for me because I would not only be able to gain some
experience in the filed of turism but also I could earn money for my further education.

I can asure you that I am one of the best of the candidates for that position. If you take my education
into consideration you will come to the conclusion that in a short time I will fit in [don't know if this
is formal or rather infomal] to turist guide responsibilities. I have exelent personal skills and I work
perfectly as a team member as well.

If you need more information do not hesitate to contact me.
I look forward to hear form you,

Yours faithfully,
Andrew
 

luschen

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Sorry, that was a really ignorant suggestion I made - never considered that you might actually be using Polish software! :)

You were right - this letter was better - except for that faculty sentence I could imagine it coming from one of my neighbors.


I don't mind commenting on your practice letters, but if you want feedback from some other readers, maybe you should start a new thread. That might give someone else a chance to give you some opinions. Did you say you planned to take the exam soon?

Dear Sir/Madame, [write out Sir or Madam - they may use Madame in England, I'm not sure]


Referring to your advertisement in The Flock Guardian, published on [the] 7th of April I would like to apply for
a position as a turist [sp]guide at your tour company.

I am 21[STRIKE]-years-old[/STRIKE][year old] polish [capitalize]exchange student [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE][in] [STRIKE]Faculty[/STRIKE][the School] of Turism[sp] [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE][at] Flock University. [ Is this what you meant? you could also say you were a member of the faculty at Flock University, but this would mean you were a professor] This year I will finish my
third year of study and during my summer brake[sp] I would like to start a part time job [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE][with] your company.
Being employed at your company is very important for me because I would not only be able to gain some
experience in the filed[sp] of turism[sp] but [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE][this is OK, but it sounds better if you put also after could] I could [also] earn money for my further education.

I can asure[sp] you that I am one of the best [STRIKE]of the[/STRIKE] candidates for [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE][this] position. If you take my education
into consideration you will come to the conclusion that in a short time I will fit in [don't know if this
is formal or rather infomal] to turist guide responsibilities [try "in a short time I will master my tourist guide responsibilities"]. I have exelent[sp] personal skills and I work
perfectly[I don't think anyone could work "perfectly" - maybe superbly, excellently, something like that ] as a team member as well.

If you need more information do not hesitate to contact me.
I look forward to hear form[sp] you,[period]

Yours faithfully,
Andrew[/QUOTE]
 

tong-pu

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
Yes, I am taking FCE exam pretty soon. Next week to be more accurate. That is why it is so important to me to improve a little bit.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top