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    • Member Info
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      • Student or Learner
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    • Join Date: Apr 2011
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    #1

    I would really appreciate your help! Please check my Motivation Letter :)

    k
    Last edited by paty_psistos; 23-Jun-2011 at 05:58.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2008
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    #2

    Re: I would really appreciate your help! Please check my Motivation Letter :)

    There are a lot of "I's in this essay.

    Can you work on it a little bit so there is a variety of sentence structures?

    For example:

    Please allow me to briefly introduce myself. I was born into a family with a strong belief in the importance of values and education. I have always been very active and friendly and enjoy taking part in many social activities. My favorite thing to do is to work in a group setting, especially with many people from different backgrounds. This helps me experience new situations and make friends.

    Good luck. You sound like you are enthusiatic and willing to work hard!

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