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  1. #1
    hyunism is offline Newbie
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    Default PLZ help me! proofread MBA admsn essay: how can an MBA help you reach them? Why now?

    Hi, I am posting one of my draft essays for MBA admission. I want write down this essay in "Recipe form", Please check for the errors and let me know the modifications required, I think this is too lenghy also. Please help me.
    Topic. What are your career aspirations, and how can an MBA help you reach them? Why now?

    CEO of Food and Restaurant Consulting Firm. “from the Kitchen to the Corner Office”

    Ingredients:
    Strengths as a Liberal Arts Major
    Multicultural Experience through the travelling
    Training at the Best Culinary School
    Cooking with World-Famous Chefs
    Manager at the Restaurant Business Company
    Marketing Curricula at XXXX
    Working in Consulting Firms

    Method:
    1. Try to access to art, literature and movie as much as possible in University. Liberal arts will be great helping me to understand other people in different situation. In any business, especially consulting job, relationships is the key to success, and I believe that understating other people is the start point for the making of relationship. Also diverse experience in liberal arts makes me create fresh and “out of the box” thinking.
    2. Once I have interest about the world from the indirect-experience, next step is to go out into the real world. See, hear, touch, smell and feel the world, then I can find another common language using by people all around the world.
    3. Learn that new communication skill, the pleasure of food, at one of the best culinary school in the multicultural city, New York. Taste from American hamburger to Zimbabwe cornmeal soup.
    4. Realize that there is countless type of restaurants from food trucks to fine dining restaurants. Change my future goal from the chef to specialist at the field of food and restaurant industry.
    5. Enter the one of the biggest restaurant company in a way to gain firsthand experience in the local food industry in Korea.
    6. Once I realize that I need advanced know-how to compete and survive in a competitive international environment. This is the very moment to pursue an MBA course, in which I can acquire the professional knowledge of business that goes beyond my study during last a few years. Also, I have to strengthen my financial background, which I will need very much for my future career.
    7. Believe that the two years in XXXX will provide me with more professional knowledge than working at the restaurant industry through teamwork in classes and feedback from peers who come from diverse culture and professional background and innovative MBA curriculum which focuses in studying to analyze and solve the world’s current issues.
    8. Work in consulting firm or investment companies as hospitality consultant. I have to plan to set up my own specialization by combining my previous restaurant experience and study of MBA.
    9. After gaining enough experience as an employee, set up my own consulting company and exercise my study at XXXX, and it’s time to test my ability as a professional manager.
    Last edited by hyunism; 27-Apr-2011 at 15:56.

  2. #2
    hyunism is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: PLZ help me! proofread MBA admsn essay: how can an MBA help you reach them? Why n

    Hi, English teacher, Plz help me at least about the grammatical errors. I relly need some help to fix it.

  3. #3
    hyunism is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: PLZ help me! proofread MBA admsn essay: how can an MBA help you reach them? Why n

    Thank for your advice, I'll fix it and post ir again,

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