(I would really appreciate it if)I'm really appreciate if someone could point out what mistakes I (have) made and which sentences or words (are not natural or suitable) are neither natural nor suitable,(it is correct english to say neither...nor (good job!). however it just sounds better in this instance to replace it with not...or.)
(Here it is) Here is it.
"Despite the women’s interest is increasingly paying more attention in over the world, the earnings gap between men and women, however, still persists today.
(this sentence does not make very much sense. I am not quite sure what you would like to say, so i have written some suggestions based on what i can infer)
(Despite that women all over the world are interested in increasing their income, their remains an earnings gap betweenn [the sexes/men and women])
(Despite the increase in attention from around the world to pay inequality, there remains a concerning difference regarding the income of men and women)
(Despite world-wide attention being given to the earnings gap between men and women, inequality in income still exists today.)
Based on the Human Development Report for Asia – Pacific set(made/done) by the Development Program of United Nations, the earnings of full-time working women were much lower then men with the difference ranging from 54 percent to 90 percent.
In the USA, most working women still earn about 87 percent of the average income of men.
(Although I moved this word so the sentence begins with "No one")
No one can deny that this situation (needs) need to be changed (in the way that delete this) for the benefit of women, although it will take a long time to achieve (the) a desired (result) results.
(Anyway not a good word to start a sentence with), women deserve something better than what they have now."
(women derserve to earn more than they are currently)
(women are currently receiving inadequate pay)
(the current situation [for women] is inadequate)
there you go! i hope i have helped. good luck with your studies and your writing!
i guess you are not a native english speaker.
congratulations for what you have written! it must be very difficult to write an essay in a new language.