These are the lines from my students' script for a cartoon:
But marketing people decided we could milk much more through brandstretching.
- Brandstretching? Unbeleivable! I can`t imagine our MD taking such idea on board.
- He wouldn`t listen to this stuff when they approached him first. You know what company image means for him and taking a brand down market can seriously tarnish it. But some time later some info started leaking.
- And our MD saw red and immediately sent everyone involved packing.
- Not really. First he refused to believe and thought our rivals to be bad-mouthing. But he asked marketing people on the carpet and they confessed that because of the bottlenecks in a couple of sections they had to resort to this idea not to suffer serious losses.
The expressions they have to use are:
brand-stretching-extension of a popular brands recognition and
reputation on a new type of product
take a brand downmarket-to sell premium brands cheaper
milk-to gain profit
bottleneck-position when business activity is slowed down because one section cannot cope with the amount of work
take on board-to consider and accept (an idea, plan, etc.)
I think that an indefinite article an should be used in "our MD taking such an idea on board".
Then, instead of "he asked marketing people on the carpet", there should be "he called the marketing people on the carpet".
And, finally, isn't "he thought our rivals to be bad-mouthing" too formal? What if I change it into"he thought that our rivals were bad-mouthing"?
Thank you for your time and help.
Last edited by vectra; 01-May-2011 at 21:04. Reason: second thoughts
Thank you very much indeed.