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  1. #1
    ostap77 is offline Key Member
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    Default creative writing

    "To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.''

    OR

    ""To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."

    Would you please correct them? Sound OK?
    Last edited by ostap77; 03-May-2011 at 19:06.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is online now Moderator
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by ostap77 View Post
    "To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform --I was doing okay up to here.

    ,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.'' -- I can't understand what you mean here.

    OR

    ""To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."??

    Would you please correct them? Sound OK?
    I can't make out the part in blue at all. It seems like you need to try to say this using more than one sentence.

    I would also use an "also" -- not only... but also...
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. #3
    ostap77 is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    I can't make out the part in blue at all. It seems like you need to try to say this using more than one sentence.

    I would also use an "also" -- not only... but also...
    Regarding the part in blue, could I use it as a separate sentence to mean that the new banking law was adopted right after the budget had been aproved?

    Regarding the part in pink, I was trying to mean that the aproval of the budget preceded the adoption of the new banking law?

  4. #4
    freezeframe is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by ostap77 View Post
    "To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.''

    OR

    ""To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."

    Would you please correct them? Sound OK?
    To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the IMF, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but also adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform. The new banking law was adopted (only) after the budget had been approved.

    Your second version is too convoluted, in my opinion.

  5. #5
    ostap77 is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by freezeframe View Post
    To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the IMF, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but also adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform. The new banking law was adopted (only) after the budget had been approved.

    Your second version is too convoluted, in my opinion.
    My second choice would be "Not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."?

  6. #6
    freezeframe is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by ostap77 View Post
    My second choice would be "Not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."?
    Okay. But why? Your sentence seems to me to have the wrong tone/style for the topic at hand. This kind of topic calls for a straightforward business-like language.

  7. #7
    ostap77 is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: creative writing

    Quote Originally Posted by freezeframe View Post
    Okay. But why? Your sentence seems to me to have the wrong tone/style for the topic at hand. This kind of topic calls for a straightforward business-like language.
    It's just that our teachers make us use this mighty complex grammar constructions. I'm not realy comfortable at using them.

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