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  1. aleycris
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    #1

    Would you correct this essay?

    Hi it's me agian, now I have another essay.

    Code:
    Write a essay about pro and cons of Living on your own.
    
    	Some are trying to live on your own, but depends on the person, living on your own would be useful or would be a disaster.
    	There are few positive aspect about living alone. You can make whatever you want in your house, for example if you like the red colour, you would paint any walls with red. A part form that you can invite your friends to your house and stay with then at any hour of the night. Your are free to arrive at any hour because nobody are control you. In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is that you are independent because you are not influenced or controlled in any way by other people.
    	On the other hand there are a lot of think that you lost if you live alone. One of then, if you used to had you clothes washing, now you must washing it. What is worse, you must cook for you own or you could call to the delivery. A part from that, you must cleaning your house and do all housework. For my point of view, the most important disadvantage of living alone is that you get used to doing the house work like washing, cleaning or cooking.
    	In conclusion I believe that the way of living on your own depends on how you are or not used to making the house work.
    Regards.

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    #2

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Write a essay about pro and cons of Living on your own.
    That is the assigment. What would you use for a title? (No need to capitalize living.)

    Some are trying to live on your own, but depends on the person, living on your own would be useful or would be a disaster.
    Try:

    • Depending on the person, living on your own could be a ___________ experience or it could be a disaster.


    I don't think you need the first part, but if you use it it should be Some are trying to live on their own. What do you think should go in the blank?

    :wink:

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    #3
    I'll post more later.

    :D

  4. aleycris
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    #4
    In the blank can I put good or excelent or useful??

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    In the blank can I put good or excelent or useful??
    Good would be good. The word I was thinking of is rewarding. In any case, you need something to contrast with disastrous.

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    #6

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    There are few positive aspect about living alone.
    You have to say a few positive aspects. There is a big difference between there are few and there are a few.

    You can make whatever you want in your house, for example if you like the red colour, you would paint any walls with red.
    You need to say you can do whatever you want.

    Try:

    • You can do whatever you want in your house. For example, if you like red you can paint the wall red.


    There is nothing wrong with the red colour. We just don't usually say it like that. Also, the wall is used to mean any wall. (You could also say the walls, but that would mean something a little different.)

    A part form that you can invite your friends to your house and stay with then at any hour of the night.
    If you insist on using apart from that remember that apart is one word in that phrase. The expression is any hour of the day or night. If your friends came to your house they would be staying with you. You wouldn't be staying with them.

    :wink:

    Your are free to arrive at any hour because nobody are control you.
    When you live in your own house you can ________ _______ _____ ___ _____ ______. There is nobody to ____ ___ ___ __ __. You are __ ____.


    How would you fill in the blanks?

    :wink:

    In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is that you are independent because you are not influenced or controlled in any way by other people.
    That is not bad, but is there a better (and shorter) way to put that?

    :)

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    #7

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    On the other hand there are a lot of think that you lost if you live alone. One of then, if you used to had you clothes washing, now you must washing it. What is worse, you must cook for you own or you could call to the delivery. A part from that, you must cleaning your house and do all housework.
    • There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.


    What do you think should go in the blanks?

    :wink:

    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    For my point of view, the most important disadvantage of living alone is that you get used to doing the house work like washing, cleaning or cooking.
    Why is that a disadvantage? (You don't need to say from my point of view.)

    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    In conclusion I believe that the way of living on your own depends on how you are or not used to making the house work.
    I am not at all sure I understand that. (You don't need In conclusion there.)

    :?

  8. aleycris
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    #8
    When you live in your own house you can ________ _______ _____ ___ _____ ______. There is nobody to ____ ___ ___ __ __. You are __ ____.
    How would you fill in the blanks?
    Maybe you can do whatever you wany _______ _____________
    I don't like this phrases, what are you thinking to put on it?

    There is nobody to controllered you.
    I don't know the other words.

    You are free
    That is good for me

    Quote:
    In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is that you are independent because you are not influenced or controlled in any way by other people.


    That is not bad, but is there a better (and shorter) way to put that?
    I don't have any idea, what I can put in a short way.

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and washing. When you live alone you have to do all your own homework and _???__. You have to do you housework yourself. You have to __??____ __???____, and __??___ ___??___ __??___ __??___ _??__ _??__ ___??___.

    Ups, that is bad, I don't have idea, my mind is in the clouds.

    Please Help Me
    :)

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    When you live in your own house you can ________ _______ _____ ___ _____ ______. There is nobody to ____ ___ ___ __ __. You are __ ____.
    How would you fill in the blanks?
    Maybe you can do whatever you wany _______ _____________
    I don't like this phrases, what are you thinking to put on it?

    There is nobody to controllered you.
    I don't know the other words.

    You are free
    That is good for me

    Quote:
    In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is that you are independent because you are not influenced or controlled in any way by other people.


    That is not bad, but is there a better (and shorter) way to put that?
    I don't have any idea, what I can put in a short way.

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and washing. When you live alone you have to do all your own homework and _???__. You have to do you housework yourself. You have to __??____ __???____, and __??___ ___??___ __??___ __??___ _??__ _??__ ___??___.

    Ups, that is bad, I don't have idea, my mind is in the clouds.

    Please Help Me
    :)
    First sentence:

    • When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do.


    As you can see, your anwer was pretty close to that. :)

    Second sentence:

    • There is nobody to tell you what to do.


    We had the same general idea.

    Third sentence:

    • You are on your own.


    (I know I had two blanks there, not three, but I can't think what else it could be.) "You are your own boss" works there too." (Still three words, I know.) "You are free" is good, but it doesn't mean exactly the same thing. (Only one word. :wink: )

    (I didn't write those words down, but maybe I should have.)



    In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is that you are independent because you are not influenced or controlled in any way by other people.

    That is not bad, but is there a better (and shorter) way to put that?



    I don't have any idea, what I can put in a short way.
    For starters, the reader will assume it is your opinion. You don't need In my opinion there. The rest can be put more simply. Perhaps:

    • The best thing about living on your own is that you can do what you want to do when you want to do it.


    What do you think?

    :D


    Fourth sentence:

    • No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning.


    Your answer is not bad, but I like mine better (partly because it is mine). :wink:

    Fifth sentence:

    • When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and housework.


    I think had something else in mind besides housework, but I can't remember what it was. :wink:

    I think housework works quite well there, don't you? (You can't use homework there because that is something else entirely. Homework is studies assigned to you by your teacher.)

    I'll have to look at the original posting again to figure out what I had in mind for the rest.

    :wink:

  10. aleycris
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    #10
    This is the essay with our correction, what do you think?

    Some people are trying to live on their own, but depending on the person, living on their own could be a rewarding experience or it could be a disaster.
    There are few positive aspect about living alone. You can do whatever you want in your house; for example, if you like red you can paint the wall red. Apart form that you can invite your friends to your house and they would staying with you any hour of the day or night. When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do and there is nobody to tell you what to do. The best thing about living on your own is that you are on your own..
    On the other hand, there are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and housework. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    In conclusion I believe that the way of living on your own depends on how you are or not used to making the housework.
    I don't know what word put on the blanks

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