Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 23
  1. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #11
    Some people are trying to live on their own, but depending on the person, living on their own could be a rewarding experience or it could be a disaster.
    I would delete the first clause. In any case, the phrase in the second clause should be living on your own.

    There are few positive aspect about living alone.
    That should be a few positive aspects. (It should be aspects in any case.)

    You can do whatever you want in your house; for example, if you like red you can paint the wall red.
    That's not bad. :)


    Apart form that you can invite your friends to your house and they would staying with you any hour of the day or night.
    If you are going to use apart from that you have to put a comma after it. Also, I doubt that you want your friends coming over any hour of the day or night. :wink:

    Perhaps:

    • You can have your friends over whenever you want to.


    What do you think? :)

    When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do and there is nobody to tell you what to do. The best thing about living on your own is that you are on your own.
    The first sentence is fine. The second sentence is not quite right. What you are basically saying there is that the best thing about doing it is doing it. :wink:

    Perhaps:

    • The best thing about living on your own is the freedom.


    I am basically using your own words there. :)

    On the other hand, there are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and housework. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    That's pretty good, but what are those blanks for. (Just kidding.) :wink: You'll have to think up your own sentences for that part, of course.

    In conclusion I believe that the way of living on your own depends on how you are or not used to making the housework.
    I don't think you need it, but if you want to use In conclusion you need to put a comma after it. As for the way of living on your own, there is nothing to be done with that but to delete it. Perhaps:

    • I believe that if you are going to succeed at living on your own it is helpful if you are used to doing the housework


    Or something like that. :)

    What do you think?

    :)

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 3,410
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #12

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee
    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    On the other hand there are a lot of think that you lost if you live alone. One of then, if you used to had you clothes washing, now you must washing it. What is worse, you must cook for you own or you could call to the delivery. A part from that, you must cleaning your house and do all housework.
    • There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    Ok, I'll have a go at this, but it's not easy!

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the washing and cooking. When you live alone you have to do all your own washing and cooking. You have to cook your meals. You have to wash up, and you have to do all the housework.

    Am I close? It's a bit repetitive!
    I'm not a teacher, so please consider any advice I give in that context.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #13

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by Red5
    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee
    Quote Originally Posted by aleycris
    On the other hand there are a lot of think that you lost if you live alone. One of then, if you used to had you clothes washing, now you must washing it. What is worse, you must cook for you own or you could call to the delivery. A part from that, you must cleaning your house and do all housework.
    • There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.
    Ok, I'll have a go at this, but it's not easy!

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the washing and cooking. When you live alone you have to do all your own washing and cooking. You have to cook your meals. You have to wash up, and you have to do all the housework.

    Am I close? It's a bit repetitive!
    That's not bad. (I used cooking and cleaning for the first part.)

    Thanks, Red!

    :D


    • Join Date: Apr 2003
    • Posts: 519
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #14

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee

    • There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.


    What do you think should go in the blanks?

    :wink:
    I'll try....

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own washing and ironing. You have to shop for yourself. You have to be independent, and be able to take care of yourself.

    How is that?

  3. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #15

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    Quote Originally Posted by shane
    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee

    • There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the _______ and _________. When you live alone you have to do all your own ______ and _________. You have to _____ _____ _______. You have to ______ ______, and _____ ______ _____ _____ ___ ___ ______.


    What do you think should go in the blanks?

    :wink:
    I'll try....

    There are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own washing and ironing. You have to shop for yourself. You have to be independent, and be able to take care of yourself.

    How is that?
    That is quite good. It might be better than my answers. :wink:

    I think Aleycris will find all these ideas useful.

    :D

  4. Casiopea's Avatar

    • Join Date: Sep 2003
    • Posts: 12,970
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #16

    Re: Would you correct this essay?

    What a very nice essay you've written. Please see my suggestions in bold. By the way, have you considered the (dis)advantages of being lonely; of paying all the bills yourself; of having to find some one to water your plants and feed your pet when you go away for a few days or on a trip? :wink:

    All the best,

    Cas :)

    Please note, the paragraphs below should be indented just as you've posted them, but I seem to be having problems doing that. So please add intentations. Thanks

    A lot of people live on their own, but living on your own successfully depends on the person. It can be beneficial for some and a disaster for others.

    There are few positive aspects about living alone. You can do whatever you want to your house. For example, if you like the colour red, you could paint your walls red. A part from that you could invite your friends to your house and visit with them until any hour of the night. You are free to come homeat any hour because nobody is there to control you. In my opinion the most important advantage of living on your own is independence : not being controlled in any way by other people.

    On the other hand, there are a lot of things that you lose out on if you live alone. One of them being, if you are used to having someone else do your laundry, they won't be around to do it. You will have to do your own laundry. What's worse is that you have to cook for yourself , and if you don't cook , you have to order in, which can be very expensive. A part from that, you have to clean your house and do all the housework by yourself. From my point of view, the most important disadvantage of living alone is that you have to get used to doing housework, such as washing, cleaning, and cooking.

    In short , I believe living on your own depends on how good you are at keeping up with the housework .

  5. aleycris
    Guest
    #17
    After reading all post I take part of each post and the final text is that:
    Some people are trying to live on their own, but living on your own successfully on the person. It can be beneficial for some and a disaster for others.
    There are few positive aspects about living alone. You can do whatever you want in your house. For example, if you like colour red, you could paint your walls red. Apart form that, you could invite your friends to your house and they would staying with you until any hour of the night. When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do and there is nobody to tell you what to do. The best thing about living on your own is the freedom.
    On the other hand, there are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and washing. You have to shop for yourself. You have to be independent, and be able to take care about yourself.
    In conclusion, I believe that if you are going to succeed at living on your own it is helpful if you are used to doing the house.
    What do you think about that?

    I think that is good.

    Regards
    Alejandro

  6. Casiopea's Avatar

    • Join Date: Sep 2003
    • Posts: 12,970
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #18
    Looks great! Well done

    Please note a few suggestions in bold.

    Some people are trying to live on their own, but living on your own successfully depends on the person. It can be beneficial for some and a disaster for others.

    There are few positive aspects about living alone. You can do whatever you want in your house. For example, if you like the colour red, you could paint your walls red. Apart form that, you could invite your friends to your house and they could stay with you until any hour of the night. When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do and there is nobody to tell you what to do. The best thing about living on your own is the freedom.

    On the other hand, there are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and washing. You have to shop for yourself. You have to be independent, and be able to take care of yourself.

    In conclusion, I believe that if you are going to succeed at living on your own it is helpful if you are used to taking care of the house.
    [/quote]

    Cas :D

  7. aleycris
    Guest
    #19
    Thanks a lot

  8. RonBee's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Feb 2003
    • Posts: 16,570
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #20
    Some people are trying to live on their own, but living on your own successfully on the person.
    Unfortunately, that is not a sentence. The first part is okay, although I would want to know what people you were referring to by Some people. Unfortunately, but living on your own successfully on the person makes no sense.

    I'm sorry for not doing a better job of explaining things. :(

    It can be beneficial for some and a disaster for others.
    That is a perfectly fine sentence, but I am not sure that is what you want to say. It doesn't mean the same thing as the other sentence.

    You really didn't need to change so much. :(

    There are few positive aspects about living alone.
    That sentence means there aren't many positive aspects to living alone. There is a big difference between there are few and there are a few.

    You can do whatever you want in your house.
    That is good. :D

    For example, if you like colour red, you could paint your walls red.
    You have to say the color red. You can't use could in that sentence. Use can.

    Why do you use British spellings? You're an American. :wink:

    Apart form that, you could invite your friends to your house and they would staying with you until any hour of the night.
    Remember that your sentences have to make sense. Say:

    • You can have your friends over any time you want.


    Isn't that simpler? :D

    (The expression is any hour of the day or night.)

    When you live in your own house you can do whatever you want to do and there is nobody to tell you what to do. The best thing about living on your own is the freedom.
    There! That's the idea. :D

    On the other hand, there are a lot of things you miss when you live alone. No longer do you have someone to do the cooking and cleaning. When you live alone you have to do all your own shopping and washing.
    That's good. There's no awkwardness about that section. It flows nicely. And the sentences are logically connected to each other. :D

    You have to shop for yourself.
    That's a perfectly good sentence, but you have said it already.

    You have to be independent, and be able to take care about yourself.
    You don't need the comma there. That is a single clause. Also, the expression is take care of yourself.

    In conclusion, I believe that if you are going to succeed at living on your own it is helpful if you are used to doing the house.
    That's not bad, but the expression is doing the housework. :wink:

    :D

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Teachers, may you please correct my essay.
    By hmong04 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-Jul-2004, 10:01
  2. Please correct my essay. Thanks!(2)
    By o_cat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 19-Nov-2003, 00:53
  3. Please correct my essay. Thanks!
    By o_cat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 17-Nov-2003, 19:02
  4. please help me to correct my essay. thanks a million.
    By eric2004 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 05-Nov-2003, 15:10
  5. Would you correct this new essay?
    By aleycris in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 29-Oct-2003, 17:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •