[Essay] What/Who would you be if you lived another life?

[hai_lua_t2]

Hi all, this is my homework exercise that my teacher ask me to do . I hope someone correct for me. Thank you very much!


If I lived another life, I would be an explorer. I would go and leave everything behind, my family, my friends, my job... I want to go everywhere to discover the mysteries of the world and find out wonderland. I would get many things from cultures and nature. They always bring so many things of interest for me. That is also my childhood dream. Let imagine if I could live as a real explorer, how I would be. It's a free life without worrying about the life such as earning money, the complicated social relationship,... to go any place that I want. Maybe I have to face the danger of nature or the people that you did not know who they were. They can make me hurt even kill me. But I don't worry about that, it can not make me stop thinking of it. Because these difficulties just make me be stronger and smarter, I would learn many things from them. In the other hand, if I found out a mystery or a land that no one could know it before, how my feeling was. Definitely, it would be a great feeling. Moreover, I made a new thing for the world and I wish it could bring new opportunities for human being. Finally, if all came true, I would have unforgettable experiences. I would become a famous person and the world always remember me!

 

[Raymott]

Hi all, this is my homework exercise that my teacher ask me to do . I hope someone correct for me. Thank you very much!


If I lived another life, I would be an explorer. I would go and leave everything behind, my family, my friends, my job... I want to go everywhere to discover the mysteries of the world and find out wonderland. I would get many things from cultures and nature. They always bring so many things of interest for me. That is also my childhood dream. Let's imagine if I could live as a real explorer, how I would be. It's a free life without worrying about the life such as earning money, the complicated social relationship,... to go any place that I want. Maybe I have to face the danger of nature or the people that you did not know who they were. They can make me hurt even kill me. But I don't worry about that, it can not make me stop thinking of it. Because these difficulties just make me be stronger and smarter, I would learn many things from them. In the other hand, if I found out a mystery or a land that no one could know it before, how my feeling was. Definitely, it would be a great feeling. Moreover, I made a new thing for the world and I wish it could bring new opportunities for human being. Finally, if all came true, I would have unforgettable experiences. I would become a famous person and the world always remember me!

We don't correct homework here. That is your teacher's job.
I'll comment on it though. You've made a lot of awkward mistakes by changing tenses too often. This is probably understandable, given the title, because it would become very irritating using "would" in every sentence; ie. a whole essay in the conditional.
Maybe you could ask your teacher about how to deal with that, and if you're not happy with her answer, come back and we could talk about it.

PS: Please don't post your questions more than once. You can delete one copy with the edit button.

 

[hai_lua_t2]

We don't correct homework here. That is your teacher's job.
I'll comment on it though. You've made a lot of awkward mistakes by changing tenses too often. This is probably understandable, given the title, because it would become very irritating using "would" in every sentence; ie. a whole essay in the conditional.
Maybe you could ask your teacher about how to deal with that, and if you're not happy with her answer, come back and we could talk about it.

PS: Please don't post your questions more than once. You can delete one copy with the edit button.

Oh, I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not a student or pupil. I got a job and I'm studying in an English center, not in school. I just want to improve my English, not for mark or anything else. Trust me, please. In fact, I also realize my problem is the way that I use tenses but it's very hard for me to correct by myself. Because I don't have much time. I can just learn English after working in the evening.
About my post, there was a problem with my Internet. I clicked Post button and waited but the page didn't reload so I clicked again. I tried to move it but I couldn't find Recycle Bin area in the forum. Maybe I need Admin's or Moderator's help to delete it.
Anyway, I really apologize for my copying post and I appreciate your advice!
Thank you!!!