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  1. #1
    murderyou is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy Please help me in finding the errors!

    I've written an article on "bikini line". It got rejected from Ezinearticles due to grammatical mistake. Can you please identify the english errors I made in writing the following article:

    "At the time of writing this article, it's summer and undoubtedly, many women are keen to remove hair from down below to look beautiful in bathing suits or swimming trunks on beach or poolside occasions.

    Other than that seasonal fad, bikini line hair removal is very important for a number of reasons. Overgrown pubic hairs lead to bad odor and skin irritation. At the same time, warm temperature in such areas make a perfect environment for germs to flourish. Therefore, it's important to get remove pubic hairs.

    There are several options to remove bikini line hair. However, the choice varies from woman to woman. There are many factors that come into consideration.

    Your budget, the length of time you can commit to hair removal, your endurance, privacy and many other factors all determine which method is ideal for you.

    When it comes to privacy, three popular options come to mind: shaving, no!no! Hair and depilatory creams.

    Shaving is the most popular choice, though not preferred by many women for it has to be done regularly.

    Depilatory cream is also a great choice for hair removal. Not only is it painless, it acts as a moisturizing agent, thus making your skin look good and you feel great. However, it doesn't give long-term results.

    If you're the sort of woman, whose ability to endure is quite high and privacy is not that of an issue, waxing and laser hair removal are the popular choices.

    Waxing is done at salon, where pubic hairs are pulled off from the roots. It is obviously painful and expensive and at the time, has to be once every month.

    Laser technology is getting more popular and more opted for to remove pubic hair every day. With the advancement of technology, it's becoming almost painless and safer. Moreover, after two or three treatments, it gives permanent result! However, its price is its major setback. At the same time, the procedure has to be carried out by a few trained and established people at a clinic. Thus, you will have to expose your pubic region, the most private part of the body, which obviously most women don't prefer.

    If you did not like any of the methods above, then only one option remains: no!no! Hair.

    How Effective Is no!no! To Remove Bikini Line Hair?

    no!no! Hair is quite effective, if you prefer removing bikini line hair from the privacy of your home. Except for the slight burning sensation and smell of burning hair, it is painless and gives long term results. Also, no!no! Hair has to be used quite skillfully when removing bikini line hair.

    If the budget ($250), a small commitment (75 minutes in average every week), and long term results (not permanent) are not your problems, it should be your ideal choice.

    "I'm Planning On Going On Holiday At A Beach in The Near Future Where I'll Be Wearing Bathing Suits. Which Method Is Ideal For Me To Remove Bikini Line Hair?"

    In my biased opinion, I would recommend the laser hair removal method. Although no!no! Hair is not bad, remember you will have to use it like 2-3 times per week. That means you will have to carry the entire no!no! Hair sets with you on your holiday in case your hair grows back and becomes visible! Other than this big problem, no!no! Hair should be your ideal choice."

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Re: Please help me in finding the errors!

    Quote Originally Posted by murderyou View Post
    I've written an article on "bikini line". It got rejected from Ezinearticles due to grammatical mistake. Can you please identify the english errors I made in writing the following article:

    "At the time of writing this article, it's summer and undoubtedly, many women are keen to remove interested in removing hair from down below from various parts of the body to look beautiful in bathing suits or swimming trunks (women are not usually referred to as wearing "swimming trunks") on beach or poolside occasions.

    Other than that seasonal fad, bikini line hair removal is very important for a number of reasons. Overgrown pubic hairs lead to bad odor and skin irritation. At the same time, warm temperature in such areas make a perfect environment for germs to flourish. Therefore, it's important to get remove pubic hairs. (These statements are ridiculous and if not, offensive or untrue.)
    There are several options to remove bikini line hair. However, the choice varies from woman to woman. There are many factors that come into consideration.

    Your budget, the length of time you can commit to hair removal, your endurance, privacy and many other factors all determine which method is ideal for you.

    When it comes to privacy, three popular options come to mind: shaving, no!no! Hair and depilatory creams.

    Shaving is the most popular choice, though not preferred by many women for it has to be done regularly.

    Depilatory cream is also a great choice for hair removal. Not only is it painless, it acts as a moisturizing agent, thus making your skin look good and you feel great. However, it doesn't give long-term results.

    If you're the sort of woman, whose ability to endure (endure what?)is quite high and privacy is not that of an issue, waxing and laser hair removal are the popular choices.

    Waxing is done at a salon, where pubic hairs are pulled offhair is removed from the roots. It is obviously (if you are describing the process, where have you established that it is "obvious"?) painful and expensive and at the time, has to be once every month.

    Laser technology is getting more popular and more opted for to remove pubic removal of hair every day. With the advancement of technology, it's becoming almost painless and safer. Moreover, after two or three treatments, it gives permanent results! However, its price is its major setback. At the same time, the procedure has to be carried out by a few trained and established people at a clinic.
    Thus, you will have to expose your pubic region, the most private part of the body, which obviously most women don't prefer.

    If you did not like any of the methods above, then only one option remains: no!no! Hair.

    How Effective Is no!no! To Remove Bikini Line Hair?

    no!no! Hair is quite effective, if you prefer removing bikini line hair from the privacy of your home. Except for the slight burning sensation and smell of burning hair, it is painless and gives long term results. Also, no!no! Hair has to be used quite skillfully when removing bikini line hair.

    If the budget ($250), a small commitment (75 minutes in average every week), and long term results (not permanent) are not your problems, it should be your ideal choice.

    "I'm Planning On Going On Holiday At A Beach in The Near Future Where I'll Be Wearing Bathing Suits. Which Method Is Ideal For Me To Remove Bikini Line Hair?" (Why the capital letters?)

    In my biased opinion, I would recommend the laser hair removal method. Although no!no! Hair is not bad, remember you will have to use it like 2-3 times per week. That means you will have to carry the entire no!no! Hair sets with you on your holiday in case your hair grows back and becomes visible! Other than this big problem, no!no! Hair should be your ideal choice."
    Frankly, I can understand why your article was rejected and not because of your grammar. There is nothing wrong with writing an article about hair removal but your choice of words and terms for a subject such as this needs work. You should also consider changing your screen name.

  3. #3
    murderyou is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help me in finding the errors!

    Quote Originally Posted by billmcd View Post
    Frankly, I can understand why your article was rejected and not because of your grammar. There is nothing wrong with writing an article about hair removal but your choice of words and terms for a subject such as this needs work. You should also consider changing your screen name.
    Appreciated the fact that you helped. Yeah, I'm an affiliate marketer. I'm just 15 and don't have much knowledge about the subject I wrote that article on. Also, I'm unable to find how to change my screen name.

    Thanks a trillion,

    Kevin

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