Hi, I am new to this forum, please to meet you all. I want to improve my writing skill as it is a very handy and essential skills in the real world. I wrote an essay on an exam topic. I hope I can get some input and see where my skill is at. Thank you very much
Topic: Should students participate in community services?
Community service is regarded as an important element in the high school curriculum. Therefore, some high schools require students to participate in community services as a graduation requirement. In my opinion, every student should be involved in some form of community service; through participating in community service, students will have the opportunity to meet new people, contribute to their community, and develop interest.
Students can meet new people while participating in community service. Community service, such as volunteering, is very popular among high school students. Volunteering provides a golden opportunity for students to meet others who are from different schools. I had volunteered in all my high school years until I entered college. Through those past years, I had worked with, and befriended with many awesome individuals that are outside of my school. Many of them became my good friends, whom I still hang out with regularly. If itís not for participation in community service, I would not have met those awesome people.
Students should participate in community service to contribute back to their community. I believe every student have the responsibility to contribute back to his or her community. As a high school student who loves his community, I am forever grateful to the safe neighborhood, recreational services, and education that my community has provided for me and my family. As a way to thank my community, I occasionally volunteer at local events with hopes that I can help out others in my community. Since the community has provided many benefits to students, it is only normal for students to participate in community service to show their appreciation.
Furthermore, students can develop interest when they participate in community service. One of my interests Ė martial arts, was developed through participating in a volunteering event. Few years ago, I volunteered at a martial arts competition. While I was bookkeeping all the competitorsí matches in the backstage, I had to opportunity to meet an elderly martial art master whose words and wisdoms greatly fueled my interest for martial arts, and since then, I have started to practicing martial arts. It is because of this volunteering experience, I developed an interest in martial arts.
In summary, participating in community services is an excellent way for students to meet new people, contribute back to the community, and develop interest. Base on those reasons, I think every students should be involved in community services.
I am NOT A TEACHER...
In reviewing your essay, I would suggest improving
1. verb tense agreement
4. redundant word usage
pastyears, I hadworked with ,and befriended withmany awesome individuals that are outside of my school. Many of them became my good friends, whom I still. If hang outwith regularly itísnot for participation in community service, I would not have met those awesomepeople.
Through those years, I worked with and befriended many awesome individuals that are outside of my school. Many of them became my good friends. If I didn't participate in community service, I would not have met such great people.