Are there any grammatical mistakes in this proposal?

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dilodi83

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Any grammatical mistakes?

My name is Marco. I am a student of Holfolk College and I have been asked to give you a proposal about the most interesting aspects of my college you should film for your television programme. Well, Holfolk college is a very big one; it comprises 70 classrooms, each of which is provided with the most technologically developed system to learn the foreign languages and also many computers, one for every desk, to allow students to study and to learn computer science. The college has got a very large library that was built in 1946 and where you can find any sort of book, about science, geography, history, maths and others about whatever you want to read about. The library has been modernised lately and every student of the college can get in it and borrow the book or the books he or she likes most. The entire college is sorrounded by a very amazing garden where you could find students studying on the grass, simply talking to each other, getting the tan in the summer during a break from their daily lessons or throwing snow-balls to each other in winter. If you would like to have further information, you could interview some students or a teacher of the college who will be pleased to answer your questions about the college and who will tell you how they get on in the college. Some students have already said they would be interested in the interview. For example, Peter O'connel who has been here for ages, knows eveything about the college and he's able to answer all your questions; Maria Stuart, an Italian girl , who is here to learn English, is chatty and confident and is the right person to talk about college trips since she has done lots of them. Among the teachers, I would like to suggest you Mr Brown, the teacher of Maths, who is a very humble man, well-educated and knows lots of things about the college and its story.
I hope the information I have given to you about the college can be useful for your interview and I do hope your programme is successful.
 

dilodi83

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Could you help me with this letter, please? Are there any mistakes?
 

5jj

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I don't see any mistakes
Not a very helpful comment. It encourages the reader to think that there may not be any. There are some - you haven't spotted them.

I shall be back in a few minutes to highlight a few for dilodi83
 

5jj

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A few suggestions:
Any grammatical mistakes?

My name is Marco. I am a student of Holfolk College and I have been asked to give you a proposal about the most interesting aspects of my college that you should film for your television programme.

[STRIKE]Well,[/STRIKE] Holfolk college is [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] very big [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE]; it comprises 70 classrooms, each of which is provided with the most technologically developed system to learn [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] foreign languages. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] It also has many computers, one for every desk, to allow students to study and to learn computer science. The college has[STRIKE] got[/STRIKE] a very large library [STRIKE]that was[/STRIKE], built in 1946, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] where you can find any sort of book, about science, geography, history, maths and [STRIKE]others about[/STRIKE] whatever else you want to read about. The library has been modernised lately, and every student of the college can get in[STRIKE] it[/STRIKE] and borrow the book or [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] books he or she likes most.

The entire college is s[STRIKE]o[/STRIKE]urrounded by an [STRIKE]very[/STRIKE] amazing garden, where you [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] can find students studying on the grass, simply talking to each other, getting [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a tan in the summer during a break from their daily lessons, or throwing snow-balls to each other in winter.

If you would like to have further information, you could interview some students or [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] teachers of the college, who will be pleased to answer your questions about the college and who will tell you how they get on [STRIKE]in the college[/STRIKE] there. Some students have already said they would be interested in the interview. For example, Peter O'[STRIKE]c[/STRIKE]Connel, who has been here for ages, knows eveything about the college and he's able to answer all your questions; Maria Stuart, an Italian girl , who is here to learn English, is chatty and confident and is the right person to talk about college trips, since she has done lots of them. Among the teachers, I would like to suggest [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] Mr Brown, the teacher of Maths, who is a very [STRIKE]humble[/STRIKE] modest? man, well-educated and knows lots of things about the college and its history.

I hope the information I have given to you about the college can be useful for your interview and I do hope your programme is successful.
 
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