Please check my songtext

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smidty

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hey
i'm not sure about my songtext
its the first song of our band and i would like to know if there are any mistakes or weird sentence structures in it, and how you like it, before we start playing it infront of an audience

No Wonder

This scene is versant
it’s all around
the world’s in motion
hectic and loud
everyone’s running
no place to breath
I make may way through
this crowded streets

and suddenly there stands a man in front of me
declaring things of his own philosophy
he actually seems pretty wise and versed to me
but what he says worries me he says

Oh its no wonder that we’re falling apart, no
we’re falling apart
it all falls apart
if things won’t change than the trouble goes on, yes
the trouble goes on
it all will go on

this scene is versant
go look outside
we’ve to come up to
what is desired
stay calm and covered in
pinstripe-suit
the headlines lead while
they keep us mute

and suddenly there stands this man in front of me
one of a few with his own identity
he actually seems pretty wise and versed to me
but what he says worries me he says

Oh its no wonder that we’re falling apart, no
we’re falling apart
it all falls apart
if things won’t change than the trouble goes on, yes
the trouble goes on
it all will go on



Thanks ;)
 

5jj

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In songs, even native speakers can use some very strange constructions, so don't worry too much. I have picked out four things to think about.

This scene is versant This means nothing to me
[...]no place to breathe
[...]th[STRIKE]is[/STRIKE]ese crowded streets
[...]he actually seems pretty wise and versed to me sounds strange to me, but you'll get away with it in a song.
 

smidty

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Germany
okey thanks for your reply ;)

I will correct those mistakes

do you have any alternatives for the word "versant" for me?
I thought "versand" means something like familiar
what about "conversant"?
or would it has to be "conversantly" in this case?
maybe you also have a better idea for "versed"?

thank you very much ;)
 
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