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  1. #1
    Aleezamo is offline Newbie
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    Default Please grade this paper ^^

    Most people feel that they have "learned some lessons" in their life. They may have made some mistakes that taught them something.

    What is one thing you have learned from your past? What would you do differently if you could? Remember to be specific.

    It is absolutely true that people all the over the world, learn from their mistakes. I also, have learned some lessons in my life. When I was in Pakistan, there were really a lot of poor children, adults and old people begging for food and money. I was walking across the street and was amazed by them. Suddenly, one of the kids came near to me and asked me for money. I lied and said after a few moments, I do not have money with me yet and I walked away; totally ignoring that kid. I never realized how much I had hurt him; how carelessly I had walked away; how I had ignored his hunger and poverty; how I had broken his heart and hope. I never realized all of these points until, I was hurt by falling terribly down from the carousel. I broke my foot and could not stand up; nor could walk. The same kid appeared again and he said, "Are you alright. I can help you stand up and walk to your home." I was embarrassed by his generosity and affection. I was speechless and could not say anything to him. I remembered those moments; when he had come to me and had asked me for money. I never knew that some day he will help through my injuries. I did not say anything and just gave him a huge hug and we both cried on each other's shoulders for a really long time. That day, changed my life, my personality and my thoughts. I never knew I would be able to transform by that kid. I realized my mistakes and tried to really heal myself. I never ever hurt any child again ever after.

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Please grade this paper ^^

    It is absolutely true that people all the over the world learn from their mistakes. I also have learned some lessons in my life. When I was in Pakistan, there was really a lot of poor children, adults and old people begging for food and money. I was walking across the street and was amazed by them. Suddenly, one of the children came near to me and asked me for money. I lied and said after a few moments that I did not have money with me yet and I walked away, totally ignoring him. I never realized how much I had hurt him; how carelessly I had walked away; how I had ignored his hunger and poverty; how I had broken his heart and hope.

    I never realized all of these points until I was hurt by a bad fall from the carousel. I broke my foot and could not stand up- never mind walk. The same boy appeared again and said, "Are you alright? I can help you stand up and walk to your home." I was embarrassed by his generosity and affection. I was speechless and could not say anything to him. I remembered those moments when he had come to me and had asked me for money. I never thought that some day he would help through my injuries. I did not say anything and just gave him a huge hug and we both cried on each other's shoulders for a really long time.

    That day changed my life, my personality and my thoughts. I never knew I would be transformed by that boy. I realized my mistakes and tried to really heal myself. I never hurt any child again.
    Don't use kid in essays.

    I have removed some commas and inserted paragraph breaks.

    Rover

  3. #3
    symaa is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please grade this paper ^^

    Frankly, I like your essay.
    Good luck

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