Hi! I'm a girl busy preparing for TOEFL iBT Test. Genuinely, I need someone to rate my essay and revise it. Lots of thanks!!!
Here are the topic and essay:

Topic (09.10.17NA): Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

Personally, there is no doubt that movies and televisions should always show audience respectable people are being rewarded and notorious people are being punished. I've got several reasons to bolster my viewpoint.
In the first place, demonstrating merciless people being penalized offers audience a sense of comfort and makes them believe that justice is done. This point is best illustrated with the example of Shawshank Redemption. The protagonist, Dan, an innocent banker who had been behind bars for 19 years escaped at last while the greedy jailor committed suicide in despair. Apparently, many a callous people haven't been sentenced to the prison in the reality which, definitely, renders individuals feel unjustifiable to some extent. By virtue of movies and TVs, not only can directors give infamous people a miserable ending to shed light on justice, but viewers are able to acquire the desirable result which makes them feel relieved and keeps their faith in justice, altruism, integrity as well as egalitarianism.
Plus, the happy ending of an amiable character in the film can turn out to substantially facilitate audience's psychological welfare, which is especially true to young audience. If Snow White had died from the Queen’s lethal apple and hadn't led a decent life with her charismatic Prince at the end of the film, for example, numerous children would have been emotionally hurt without doubt. What makes the matter worse is that they are rather vulnerable to such a tragedy and have a tendency to view the world in a pessimistic way which can leave a scar at the bottom of their heart in a life-long process. Admittedly, never should screenwriters of TV programs and movies improvise their screenplays in such a heartbroken way as they are obligated to take children and teenagers who make up a large proportion of entire audience into account.

Based on the arguments offered above, I assert that it only makes sense when virtuous people are rewarded and brutal people are punished in the program or movies. (332 words)